


Under the Cape

by Dezee_Mils



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Child Abandonment, Childhood Friends, Deception, F/M, Falling back into love, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Abuse, Kamar-Taj (Marvel), Kind Thor, Magic, Orphans, Tags Contain Spoilers, Teen Pregnancy, loki is a little shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 11:39:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 35,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10966458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dezee_Mils/pseuds/Dezee_Mils
Summary: Abandoned early by her mother and with her father refusing to take her in, Lorelei is found by the ever kind All Mother. Taken in to be a lady of the court, Lorelei had found a home among the nobility of Asgard.Of course among the nobility comes the few around her age.The sons of Odin.This is a rewrite of an unfinished story of mine on Wattpad. I'm changing some names, moving around some plot arcs and might actually finish it on here.Also, I was unaware there was an Asgardian villain in Agents of Shield named Lorelei. They are completely unrelated as I don't watch Agents of shield.





	1. null

Lady Frigga walks among the merchant shops, grinning as people walked past and bowed.

She saw this medallion dangle in a window. The arrowhead-shaped stone that slowly changed colours within tied with a leather thong.

She thought of Loki when she saw it.

Oh, Loki, sad boy; spends all his time alone.

She steps into buys the necklace for him. The shopkeeper tries to give it to her at no cost, but she refused and pays generously. The shopkeeper gives the Queen a gentle bow as she exits the building.

As she begins to weaves through the vendors and carts to return to the castle, she hears a faint cry. She turns to look into a dark alleyway. A mall huddle figure caught her eye.

She made her way towards the crying child, who was covered with dirt and ridden with fleas, flinched at the sound of the Queen's shoes. Her clothes were no more than a few rags barely covering her body. Sh kneeled down to her height.

“Child, are you well?”Though her voice was soft and motherly, the child winced and tensed her tiny body up. “My dear, are you hurt?” The child barely whimpered a reply. Frigga sighed and materialized an apple in her palm.

“Are you hungry?” With that question, her head tilted up from her knees. “Here, take it.” The child took it into her hands and smelt it first, before taking several small bites into its red flesh. After the girl devoured most of her fruit, she looked up to the Queen.

“Thank you.” The Queen smiled.

“What is your name?”

“Lorelei.”

“Now darling, are you hurt?” The small child stood as tall as she could, but Frigga stayed down on her knees.

“No, I am just fine, thank you.” But as the girl tried to defiantly cross her arms, she yelped out in pain. This drew attention to her grossly bruised arms. The girl's eyes began to well with new tears

“My dear, that arm is most certainly broken. If it is not properly set, you could live with that deformity for the rest of your life.” The girl’s crying stopped.

“Really?” The queen nodded, slowly rising to her full height.

“Yes. I can take you to our healer, Eir. She is a very kind woman. She could fix your arm.” She offered the child her hand. “ If I may, I could carry you to the castle. I wouldn’t want to lose you on the way.” The little girl looked wearily at the Queens beautiful gown, so clean and golden.

“You’ll get dirty.” The queen laughed softly and bent down towards the girl. Frigga opened her arms to her. The girl swallowed heavily as she stepped into the Queens' arms, turning so her injured arm would not rest against the Queen's chest. Frigga took part of her cloak and wrapped the in it, to hide her from the public eye

Uncaring of the glances, the Queen made her way home with a squirming bundle in her arms. As she entered the castle gates, two young boys ran to her feet. The larger of the two, with a head of gold, was boisterous in his attempts to recount the day's events. While a smaller, dark haired boy, just clutched the side of her skirt.

“Mummy! You should have seen me! Freki pups are now big enough to play. We wrestled and fought for hours. Papa says I might be able to keep one as a pet. “ At the sound of his loud voice, The girl tried hiding her face deeper into the Queens dress.

“What of your day, Loki? Did you play with the puppies?”

“No, but I did finish Asgard, A glorious history. Not a very good ending. It just ends with Thor’s birth. I’m not much younger. Couldn't the author wait a few years?” The three began to laugh, but the whimpering bundle in her arms quieted them.

“Mummy, What is that?” The golden boy asked.

“She’s not for you, Thor. Now run along, both off you. I’m sure your tutors are looking everywhere for you.” She tutted as she began to make her way towards the Healers.

The girl was much too dirty to be treated right away. Despite the servant's protest, Frigga was the only person the girl would allow to touch her. Once enough dirt was scrubbed from her skin, Frigga allowed only the healer, Eir, to treat the girl. She was bribed with fruits and sweets to even allow Eir to coax pain managers into her system. Only then was Eir able to set the bone.

Gently, the two women finished cleaning the child as she slept peacefully. They brushed out her knotted tangles, which now gleamed a beautiful silver, and braided it away from her face.

“She is a beautiful little girl, Frigga. Such an unfortunate situation.” Eir voiced to the queen.

“Unfortunate situation no longer. Though I have been blessed by several sons, this gives the opportunity to raise a daughter. Even though she cannot pass as my own, I will offer the second, just as good option.” Frigga looked towards the girl, playing with the wispy tendrils of silver from her face.

“What will the King say?”

“What he will say effects nothing. I am simply fulfilling my title.”The Queen smiled at her contently.

“Does she have a name?”

“Lorelei.”

One Asgardian year later.

“Tante, do I have to go with them?” The girl hid behind the Queen’s skirts as they made their way to the castle.

“Your studies have progressed wonderful, Lorelei, you can join my sons now with their tutor. He is truly a better teacher than me.” Lorelei stopped in the hall.

“No one is a better teacher than you, Tante.” Frigga took the girl's arm and kept leading her to the Princes’ study.

“But Tante!”

“Lorelei. Remember your manners. Shouting is for fear and fun.” The girl looked sheepishly to her feet and uttered a reply. Frigga took note but continued to drag her down the hall. They came across a large golden door decorated almost childishly in runes and writing of other races.

“Now dear,  remember your manners. But also be quick to reprimand theirs as well. Do not be afraid to prove them wrong or remind them of their place. And I'm not talking about my sons. You are all learners.” Lorelei nodded at er instructions and stepped aside so that the standing guard could open the door.

“‘-mighty King Odin brought a strongly willed attack against the giants of Jotunheim. Triumph in victory he’-My Queen,” A middle-aged man of grey hair stood gracefully to bow at the Queen, who tilted her head in return. “ A lovely surprise, I can assure you. But what do we owe the pleasure?” The man was standing skillfully o that the children were blocked from each others view.

“As we had discussed, a pupil of mine has exceeded expectations and I alone can no longer quench her thrust for knowledge. You agreed to tutor her along with my sons” Frigga reached behind her to coax forward the still silent girl.

“Now, Lorelei, manners. “ She whispered to the young girl; who took a step forward and bowed as taught.

“Good day, Professor. My name is Lorelei, due to be Lady of the court under the Allfather's guidance. I humbly request you to take me under your tutelage to help prepare me as well as you have prepared her sons.” Not even missing a beat, the man started to chuckle.

“Oh my, that is sweet. Prepare a Lady like the Heirs to the throne of Asgard?”

“Not to offend, Sir, you're a teacher, correct. Your duty is to fill the hungry minds with knowledge, not laugh at their demographics.” The man peered over at the quiet, small girl standing beside the Queen. She was still rather skinny as a result of her extended poverty, but her words were big and moving. Frigga glanced back at the teacher as he and young Lorelei held glares at each other. The teacher turned on his heel and picked back up his book.

“It is not my job to babysit. If she falls behind, she is left to her own devices. “ Dearly and with less gusto, he continued reading the passage. The blonder prince was captivated by the gore and violence while the darker meet eyes with the girl. They held each other's glances for only a moment before he smiled at her. It was wholehearted, teeth and all. A small grin also crept onto her face as she started to walk towards the darker prince. She climbed up to the bench he sat and turned to wave goodbye to Frigga, but she was already gone.

“My name is Loki.” The soft voice made her turn back around to the dark prince, who was holding his hand out to shake under the table. But a loud thwap of the book came crashing own on the table.

“No distractions.” The teacher scolded. The darker prince giggled softly at the reprimand and looked to the girl.

“Lorelei.” She whispered. “I’m Lorelei.”

“Pleased to meet you, Lorelei.”

“Pleased to meet you, Loki.”

 


	2. en

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some rather harsh and sexist language and verbal abuse. It is to be rather repetitive and a bit of a theme.

****

For most of their childhood, the three children of Frigga’s love were all but inseparable. The son’s of Odin welcomed Lorelei happily. Between their lessons together and their constant play, they were each other's best friends. Nothing could really break them apart. Of course, they had their differences, but that's what made each other even better.  The acknowledgment of those differences. At Least until the Allfather stepped in.

“Lærer, what are we to learn today?” The three children sat at the big wooden table, awaiting whatever stories their teacher would bestow on them today.

“Actually, The Allfather has requested he spend the day with the Princes.” While the boys were obviously excited, Lorelei shrunk back with grief.

“Lorelei weren't you going to ask Lærer about that elemental magic. I hadn’t read much of it. So you thought he might.” Loki tried to perk her up. He weakly smiled. She knew that the day alone with Lærer was a day to dread.

“ I had almost forgotten. Thank you for reminding me.” She offered a smile to her friend.

“Now head on over to the throne room. The Allfather should not be kept waiting.” Lærer ordered the boys out of the room, leaving him and Lorelei alone.

“Now what mundane topic did you wish to bore me with.” Lorelei held in a sarcastic reply as she stayed quiet.

“It was simply in passing. I figured it out myself.” The teacher scoffed.

“However amusing. Without the Princes here, I do not wish to waste my time on whatever useless topics you wish to learn. Couldn’t you learn to braid your hair? Perhaps not in my presence.” Lorelei took in a slow breath I try not to berate the man before her.

“I’d rather learn more about the Battle of Jotunheim. I’ve only ever heard war myths. IS there any other writing on it?”

“Why are you bothering learning about that? Shouldn’t you learn something useful? Laundry? Cross stitch? Or maybe a nice parlor trick. Ever want to learn an instrument?”

“I have every right to learn as Loki and Thor.” She whimpered out.

“Prince Thor and Prince Loki are being raised to take over Asgard when the Allfather is no longer able to rule over the nine realms. You are being raised to give the heirs no intellectual stimulation. Your place is with your legs open, you street rat. You were born to be nothing. You come from nothing.  You will die nothing. You are nothing. Nothing you learn here will ever change that. So just accept the truth of being a female and prepare yourself for the meager lifestyle you will live when the Royals are bored of their pet rat.” The girl sat in her place still as stone. Her head was down as Lærer had finished his monologue. The narrow-minded man thought he had found victory in his verbal assault of the young girl and went back to sit in one of the comfier chairs in the room. But his biggest mistake was opening his mouth again.

“Could you please leave the room? You feminine sadness is stinking up the room.” In a burst of power, Lorelei screamed. The power reading from her blasted the teacher from his chair and harshly into the wooden bookcase. The man sat and groaned in pain for a moment as he tried to recover. Lorelei, frightened of what just happened, ran out of the room in search of her friends. She only found the, as they were descending into the weapons vault.

“Lei-la. Skipping class already? Thor joked as he kept with his father. Loki noticed his friends hurried breathing and wet cheeks.

“What did he say this time?” The boy took her hand and squeezed it gently.

“Not now.” Loki simply nodded and started to pull her along.

“Lorelei, I did not know my invitation was extended,” Odin spoke without looking back at his youngest son and his friend.

“My apologies, your highness.” She whispered. Odin lead them down the stairs in a rather brisk manner. The trip was almost wholly in silence until the king broke it.

“Once mankind accepted a simple truth; that they were not alone in this universe. Some worlds man believed the home to their Gods. Others they new to fear. From around the cold and darkness came the Frost Giants.” Thor had slowed down his pace to walk beside Loki and Lorelei. Only to try to spook her at the mention of the horrendous monsters.

“Threatening to plunge the mortal world into a new ice age.But humanity would not face this threat alone. Our armies drove the Frost Giants back into the heart of their own world. The cost was great. In the end, their king fell. And the source of their power was taken from them.” The grand doors of the weapons vault were opened. The four of them made their way. His children were marveling at the ancient artifacts, at the possible power within them.

“ With the last great war ended, we withdrew from the other worlds and returned home to the realm eternal, Asgard. And here we remain as the beacon of hope. Shining out across the stars. And though we have fallen into man's myths and legends, it was Asgard and it's warriors that brought peace to the universe.” They had finally begun to end the long hall of greatness to a large, glowing box.

“But the day will come when one of you will have to defend that peace.”

“Do the Frost Giants still live?”Lorelei asked. AS it was originally her intention to learn about this war earlier today.

When I'm king, I'll hunt the monsters down and slay them all! Just as you did, father” Thor tried to boost.

“A wise king never seeks out war. But...he must always be ready for it. “ The king turns around and begins to walk away. The two brothers share a look and run after him, taking his hand.

“I'm ready, father,” Thor assured.

“So am I!” Loki contended.”

“Only one of you can ascend to the throne. “ From behind them, Lorelei saw Loki’s shoulders drop, but only barely.

“But both of you were born to be kings!” The girl stayed with them as they continue to leave the vault.

“And what of Lorelei? Could she be Queen?” Odin seemed to stop in his tracks and looked at his younger son.

“The only circumstance in which Lorelei could be Queen is the life she marries one of you who becomes King.” Thor made a face.

“I couldn’t marry Lorelei. It would be like marrying Loki!”

“Oh, Thor. If I had to marry either one of you, I would marry Lorelei.” Odin chuckled.

“Who would you marry, Lorelei. Given you had the choice between my sons.” Odin had asked the girl who contemplated.

“Well, If I had the choice to marry, that would mean I was your daughter. Also meaning I was in line for the throne. But if I was to marry, My power would go to my husband. Leaving me powerless and without choice. So if I had a choice between your sons, My king, I would pick myself. It’s the most confirmed way I would be n the highest position of power.” Odin nodded at her answer.

“Very well thought out. Seems you are doing well in your studies.” She nodded. “A fine Lady of the court you would make indeed.” The king leads the three children out of the vault and backs up to the Throne room where Frigga waited with a faux happy look on her face.

“Children, I say this with much regret as to inform you that your coupled learning is over. As I had said before, One of you will have to defend that peace. Your academic studies will indeed be continued but now so will you combative studies. My sons, you are now to begin physical training to better prepare you for being king. More meager responsibilities will be handed to you and you will develop a sense of duty. Lorelei may continue her studies with Lærer if it so pleases her.” Lorelei inwardly flinches at that.

“Are we to be separated now? Pitted against each other? Loki asked. Hii mother looked at him almost sadly.

“Of course not, Loki. You are still young. You will have time to play together. But you won’t be a child much longer. You all must understand that the changes taking place are to prepare you for your futures as leaders of this kingdom.”

“When do we start!” Thor asked excitedly.

“Today, actually. Boys, if you could follow me to the training grounds. Frigga, could you walk Lorelei back to Lærer?” Frigga waved the young girl over to her. The young girl gave a small smile to her friends as they were lead in different directions.

“How have our studies been going?” Frigga asked her. She smiled politely.

“Just fine, thank you.” Frigga noticed something wrong with the young girl.

“Lei-la, I am here for you, no matter the issue. You understand that, correct?” Lorelei nodded.

“Lorelei, I am not your mother. I will not abandon you. I will not ever hurt you. I love you more with every breath I take.  I will never leave you. I am here for you however you need me. But please do not shut me out, please.” Lorelai stared at the ground.

“Will you let me in, Lorelei?” The girl stayed quiet. “Will you let Loki in?” The girl looked up at the woman. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small pile of something.

“I found this necklace the day I found you. Loki has once half of it. This is the other half. The pieces are enhanced to allow the wearers to communicate with each other emotionally. It’s very primal magic. You can feel each other’s emotions, with consent of course. It takes trust. It takes honesty. But this way, you are never truly alone.” Lorelei took the necklace into her hands to observe it. The once arrowhead shape is now a shark shard, no bigger than a fingernail. Yet the colours still shine and change. Currently, it’s pulsing red.

“What does the red mean?”

“Loki is near Thor, who by the looks of it is being agitated.” The stone pulsed red once more before sinking into a deep green.

“And now?”

“He is calm. Quite suddenly too. Not to worry. You will understand these colours in time. But now, I must leave you to lærer.” Frigga turned to leave.

“Wait,” Lorelei called out The Queen stalled and waited. “Help me put this on?”


	3. to

The three children finally entered adolescence with Uttermost grace. Both boys matured into lovely young men, whilst Lorelei slowly grew to resemble something of a fine maiden. The charm Frigga had gifted both Loki and Lorelei had brought them closer than there were. Though the Prince's training had left little time for anything else, the youngest one had found a way to spend time with his dearest friend.

“Loki, By the realms, if you fall, I am not cleaning that mess!” Lorelei scolded from the ground as her knowledge determined friend was free climbing a bookshelf three times his height.  
“Well, it’s not my fault the ladders don’t reach this high!” The gangly prince was hanging by only his left hand and foot as he waved down to his friend, who cringed with dread. The small emblem around his neck flared green, Loki smirked.   
“Seriously, Leila, If you’re so worried, conjure something. Perhaps something to catch me.” He poked fun, knowing full well Lorelei wasn’t as proficient enough in her magic, even with his extra tutoring. In a small fit of anger, Lorelei sent a minor tremor to the base of the bookshelf. As the vibration moved up towards the Prince, his smile dropped and the fun was gone. The tremor was strong enough to throw him, and a few books, off the bookshelf towards the floor. But just his luck, he was thrown onto something rather soft… And angry.  
“ LOKI ODINSON, would you be so ever kind as to GET. OFF. OF. ME.” The young lady under him squirmed to punctuate her agitation. Even once her hands were free and (thankfully) not broken, she started to berate him with closed fists.  
“Okay, Okay, ALRIGHT. I’m off. I am getting off.” The young boy was giggling as he rolled off his smaller companion.  
“Loki, this isn’t amusing.” Lorelei pouted. The Prince continued to laugh at her defeated state as he rose to his feet.  
“This is actually very amusing. It all has to do with perspective.” The Prince was prideful as he stood above her. She clearly wasn’t having it as she kicked the back of his knees to bring him to her height. The young lady stood to start marching away from the prince.  
“Lorelei, it was nothing but play.” He pleaded as he ran after her.  
“Nonsense, Loki. You just wanted to prove me wrong. Whether or not the injury was a pure coincidence.” The boy's face softened.  
“You are hurt, aren’t you?” She stayed quiet. “Lorelei, did I hurt you?” He went to reach for her forearm, but she flinched back at the contact. Immediately, Loki pulled her closer to him and wrapped her around her waist. Before she could protest, he teleported them back to his chambers. The prince turned her around and pulled at the strings of her dress and pulled the shoulders down.  
“Loki, how dare-”  
“Who gave you those?” He demanded. His eyes were cool and sharp. Much like his father's when he was angry.  
“It was an accident, I-”  
“Lei-la, do not downplay this. Did he-”  
“Enough, Loki. It’s none of your concern.” The boy growled in anger.  
“That's why you always block me now, isn’t it. You don’t want me to know how much pain you-”  
“Loki, I said enough. Do back up my dress. Tante will begin to worry if I am any later.” She only heard a scoff as he just waved his hand between them. The girl flinched at the sudden tightness nodded a thank you before walking away from the prince.  
“I’ll remember this moment you were not truthful for a time you want me to be.” He shouted from behind her. Her pace slowed in a second of consideration but thought of it no longer as she continued on her way.   
The bruises weren’t the only thing she was untruthful about. She most definitely was not going to see the Queen. Their lessons were after lunch when the boys were engaged in combative training. So only at tea did Lorelei and Loki finally resume their morning mischief.   
She was turning into a liar. A very bad liar at that too. You couldn’t lie to someone's face with a big, bright banner shouting the truth behind you. But right now, the sickly blue banner that inked her skin was beginning to throb in pain. The tightness of her dress was beginning to worsen the already deep bruises. All she wanted was to be in her room. Locked away to heal in peace, away from Loki’s bothersome worries and Frigga’s not so well hidden doubts.  
But before she could turn the corner to her room, a figure moved into her way, causing her to crash into it’s fattening belly.  
“Skipping class, are we? You’d think a Lady would be mindful of her prior engagements.” The skiving voice of Lærer made its way to the girl's ear. She was as still and tense as a stone as he continued to speak.  
“Tut, tut. You’d think after yesterday you would remember the importance of timing.” The much larger man wrapped his thick fingers around her bicep, squeezing the already purpled skin. “Now, looks like you are having trouble remembering the lesson. Let’ go back and ensure you retain it this time.” His grip did nothing but tighten as he all but dragged her to the classroom and locked the door.

  
Loki had been at wit's end with his brother by the time training had ended. All brute and no brain on his attacks made sparring a painfully boring three hours. But only did the prince finally had enough when he saw his companion looking pained as she sat in one of his mother's overly cushioned benches. The beating red shone so brightly she could see it from being tucked into her dress. She looked down at the glow in her bodice and her fake neutrality faded with the slump of her shoulders. She could feel the intensity of his glare from the brightness of the glow. He was mad. Very mad. Not really at her. But there was still anger directed at her.  
“Loki…”She began to speak as she tried to meet his glare. But she shrunk away when she was the emotion in his eyes. The prince himself was very grateful his mother was not yet present.  
“Lei-la, I do believe you forgot to whom you are lying to.” The words were smooth from his tongue. “Now I have respected your wishes on privacy. But that was before violence. If you do not come to me by weeks end, I am telling mother. Or by the nines, if you begin to look any worse I’ll execute him myself. Now if you excuse me, I need to find something to punch. Preferably Thor, but anything just as annoying will suffice.” And with that, the dark prince stalked off out of the room, almost audibly hissed at the attendant that was bringing in the tea.

Later that night, after he was scolded for rudeness and his absence at dinner, he sat alone in his room. Usually, he would have Lorelei here for her added magic lessons. But he was still angry with the events of today.  
Absentmindedly, he reached for the leather cord that held his half of the pendant. For weeks now, he had noticed how it stopped glowing, only to resemble the stone in which it was carved. Not an ounce of colour has shone and that at first did not worry him. With the delights of adolescents came the need for increased privacy. When his voice has begun to lower, he locked her out for a month so she could not feel the burning pink of his embarrassment.  
But even without the pendant, he thought he could read her well. He had mastered understanding Thor early in childhood. So when she was introduced so early in his life, he had thought he could make the same progress as he did his brother. He thought he had, he really really did. Even without an enchanted stone, he thought he knew her as well as himself. But the event of the past day had drastically challenged that belief.  
But the stone in his palm began to change from its dark grey. Lighten and lose its opacity as it dimly radiated a shadow of red. Not the boisterous, beating red that is her anger, but a deep and ghastly shade that made the stone seem dipped in blood. A pang of sadness rocked his heart and turned the stones twin into a deep purple. In front of a mirror, standing near nude, Lorelei stared at her body. The pure paleness of her shins was stark at the mottled greens and purples that littered her torso in various stages of healing. She held the stone to her lips as she let the other gingerly trail her blossoming curves. She sucked in through her teeth when she passed a particularly deep one, about a two weeks old yet still resembled mulberry stains.  
 _“Lei-la?”_ She could almost feel him behind her. She bowed her head as she tried to fight the tears of personal disgust from running down her face. A chilled hand took her shoulder and forced her away from the mirror. Inattentive to her state of dress, the Prince wrapped a gentle arm around her waist as he manages to move her to a chair before her knees gave out.  
In a silence only botched by her muttered sobs, Loki hovered a hand over the soiled area over her skin. Wordlessly, he sent his magic deep within the damaged tissue, to relieve the simple wound of its intricate pain. He worked on the violet splotches that adorned her legs before resting a hand on her shoulders. He couldn’t reach the stomach churning marks that covered her abdomen.   
“Lei-la, I need you to sit up, _kjære_.” He whispered. She took in a deep, yet shaky breath as she strained her back. Her stomach trembled as he pressed his cold hands to her skin. As the heat of the pain was replaced with the chill of his touch, she felt her stomach flip, as if nauseated.  
“Loki, I might be skin. Fetch me a bucket?” He nods in agreement as he removed his hands from the party healed area to go grab something for you to be sick in. You felt another tug in your stomach and you lurched forward as if to catch it in your lap.  
“Here you go. I’ll fasten your hair away. Where are your pins?” He handed her the wooden bucket then leapt up towards the vanity. He found them without her assistance and went to work braiding the loose silver away from her face.  
“This is really darling, Loki. Should I tell Thor of your techniques? Surely he’ll enjoy some brotherly bonding.” Lorelei joked. The Prince joined her.  
“Thor’s hair is much too filthy for such intricate patterns. He’s yet to learn the importance of soap.”  
“Well considering he just learned he had to do more than sit in the bath in order to be cleansed, I say soap is far too advanced for your dear brother.” They continued to laugh at their jokes, momentarily forgetful of the issue at hand. She spoke first.  
“I’ll take care of it. Not to worry. I have a plan. We’ll get rid of this bastard for good.” Loki had let go of her hair and moved to kneel in front of her.  
“Lorelei, what are-”  
“You aren’t going to talk me out of it, Loki. You can either help me or get out of my way.” Loki caught the flailing hands of his friend had held them to his chest.  
“Oh shush, my darling friend. I’m not talking you out of anything. Just to pull off anything under either of my parent noses is a challenge all its own. All I’m asking is what do you need.” For the first time in must of been a month, Lorelei smiled. Genuinely smiled.  
“You. I need you.”


	4. tre

Scheming was always Loki’s thing. He always planned and divided every prank the duo ever did. But when his friend began to spell out what she had in store, he listened contently until the end before asking any questions or possibly offering revisions. Once the planning had conceded, dinner had come to the past and they were both rather famish; Loki from his extensive magic use and Lorelei from the day's events.  
“Mother is going to inquire about our absence,” Loki muttered as he threw his companion an apple from the now depleted dish.  
“And we’ll say we fell asleep studying. Isn't something out of the norm.” She caught it with ease. Now dressed in sleepwear and a dressing gown, her remaining bruises were still visible.  
“Would you like me to finish? You cannot possibly be comfortable in your day dresses.” He offered, seeing how the necklace no longer throbbed in pain now that she was dressed more comfortably.   
“No, leave them. Evidence of past digressions will help solidify the case.” The apple still laid in her hand, uneaten. Then in a flash of blue, it crumbled into ash.  
“You know, I’m starting to see a pattern in your use of magic actually works. Destructive. Angry. But since I’m always around, I’m the one blamed because people actually believe that I practice it.” He took the ash from his friend’s palm and smeared it between his fingers.  
“Well, that's because half the castle is still convinced my only purpose here is to ruin Odin’s long and glorious reign.” They both shared a laugh.  
“Oh, maybe not half the castle. Maybe 20%? Not including staff as they are easily swayed by gossip. Maybe we should hold a poll for more accurate numbers.” Loki suggested But Lorelei declined.  
“If the poll is hosted by one of the Odin sons, the answers would surely be in whatever opinion sheds the best light on the opinionators.” She dusted the remains of the apple off and started towards the door.  
“Let's try to sneak some wine and cheese and stargaze in the royal garden. Midgard is supposed to be visible this time of year.” The boy lit up as he began searching for a satchel to hide their stolen goods.  
“Of course. The realm of humans is only visible during the season where life fattens up or dies before the upcoming winter.” The girl hit her friend.  
“Not true. I’ve read that autumn on Midgard is very beautiful in the northern hemispheres. Such beautiful colours and the cooling of summer. ‘No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face.’”  
“You quote theses Midgardian as if they are legitimate authors.”  
“They are! You cannot dismiss their intelligence just because their lifespan is one of the shortest in all the realms. You cannot hold Nayer Luddinson at higher regards because he is of Asgard as you can Plato lower for being of Midgard. I’m done arguing for the rest of the year with you. Let's steal some wine and watch the stars, you pest.” The girl began her departure for the mirror in the farthest corner of her room. Upon its ordinate frame was a charm. She only had to touch the centre of it to reveal the passageway.  
“Loki, If I didn’t think you could keep up, I wouldn't have asked you. Come on.” Whatever distraction had caused his delay was quickly shaken off as he followed his friend into the tunnel.   
Upon its original construction, these tunnels were supposed to be for the servants and such, to keep them completely out of sight. But of course the kind presence of the then Lady Frigga made it acceptable for the events to be seen, and the tunnels closed. Or at least to the public. The charms on the entrances were simple, almost childish. So, of course, the young trickster and his cohort had taken to using these tunnels to their leisure.  
Once their picnic meal was swiped from the near empty kitchens, they used the tunnels to exit behind a line of flower bushes in the garden. The two had a spot they used to watch the stars. It was a small gazebo that sat upon a wide tree trunk. The branches of the tree kept the gazers hidden from the average stroller. It could once hold three children. But with their natural growth and one's distance, it contently held the remaining two in a small nest of blankets, books and branches.   
The place was a special place. To both of the gazers. It had been Loki’s initially. A hidden haven from the constant shadow of his brother. But after her introduction to his life, she somehow wandered upon the spot. It was a place where all the wondering eyes and hurtful stares. Coincidentally, they didn’t end up there at the same time for a whole year. Their mother told them of a phenomenon and they went to go watch it in the same place. Eventually, Thor stopped coming so it was just the two of them. Sitting in content silence.  
The young adults fell asleep tipsy but full. They slept through the night without any terrors, as they often did. Much to anyone, but their and Frigga’s. Dismay, they slept next to each other often. The protection and comfort of the other's presence warded them of nightmares. The few nights a week they do not sleep near each other usually ends up with one of them waking up to find the other sitting in their room, obviously sleep deprived.  
But in preparation to their grand scheme, they powered up as much as they could. With Lorelei waking first, she stole a tray of food from the breakfast that some of the young ladies held in the garden. She left Loki half of the berry filled pastries as she hurried back to her room to dress in something other than her nighties. She had to make appearances first, mostly at the young ladies breakfast. So to counter her well rested look, she had to dress a little down, but with heavy powder to draw attention to the poorly masked and partially visible bruises. She had to make it look like she was making an attempt to hide something.  
“Good morning, Lady Lorelei.” The head bee, Astrid, greeted Lorelei, who was very pleased with the reactions she gained from her feminine peers.  
“Good Morning, everyone. I apologize for my tardiness. But such beautiful weather we’ve been given. Surely one of the last days of summer.” Astrid, as well as, the other girls gave the disgruntled looking girl a tight lipped smile.   
“Perhaps we’ve been granted an extended summer. Wouldn't that be just lovely.” Another girl piped in. A mousy looking thing. Sila?Solan?  
“Perhaps. Lorelei, could we offer you some tea?” Astrid offered.  
“Or maybe some juice? You’re looking a little ill there, Lorelei.” a brunette named Brie asked. The mousy girl that starts with an s elbows her in the ribs.  
“What Brie means to say is you aren’t looking yourself. Is everything alright?” Astrid tried to correct her misspeaking friend. Lorelei went to go twiddle with the end of her thick braid, intentionally exposing the beginnings of the deep, rosy bruise along her collarbone. They all look little taken back.  
“Oh, it's nothing. I always feel a little sickly during this time of year. Like I’m homesick for autumn.” The girls accept that answer, but their eyes still lingered on the blemish peeking out from her collar. The all politely enjoy breakfast together. Some light fruits and porridge as somehow all the pastries disappeared.   
Though as the socially perfect outing was going smoothly, Lady Astrid went to take a drink of her tea, only to have a large spider jump out at her. The lady screamed and dropped her cup. The priceless glassware nearly hit the ground before it was suspended by tell tale greenness.  
“You must be more careful, Astrid. A singular cup and saucer are worth more than your family's entire fortune.” The Sly Prince cooed at the lady as he held the cup in hand, contently drinking from the spiderless tea.  
“Your Highness.” Astrid quickly stood to curtsy in front of the prince, as did all the attendees at the breakfast. Lorelei simply rolled her eyes at the formality.  
“Loki, we’re trying to enjoy some peace and quiet. Haven’t you ever heard of that?” Lorelei teased as she stood to walk over to him. The rest of the girls stayed bowed until Loki spoke to them again.  
“I’m half tempted to leave them there.” He whispered to Lorelei, to whom he took her hand and bowed, kissing her knuckle. To which she flinched her wrist and knocked in in the lip.  
“Relieve them, Loki.” She exasperated. To which The prince rolled his eyes and cleared his throat.  
“Have a fine rest of your morning, Ladies. Mother has been having me escort Lorelei to our lessons as she is far too busy planning the harvest festival.”Loki offered his arm to her and she took. The girls all stood and began to giggle.  
“Oh I just love the Harvest festival, Don’t you Prince Loki?”  
“So much dancing.”  
“So much food.”  
“So much wine.”  
“As much as I trust don’t want to listen to your vapid prattle about a silly festival, we’ll be on our way.” Loki bowed his head, to which the ladies returned, but only directed at him.   
Though Lorelei was all a child taken in directly by the Queen, she wasn’t exactly a Princess, but nor was she just another Lady of the court. Her placement was delicate as her education was prestigious yet private. She did not stay with family, she had her own chambers. She has a royal allowance but no real assets. The most anyone can hope to gain in marrying her is a close seat to the King at dinner.   
All those young women had land, fortunes, fathers with council positions, military ranks, special trades. That and they are at court. They’ve been placed in the glowing eyes of the Princes by none other than their parents. In the hopes of catching his eye, gaining a favour or carry his child. Mistresses are common among young unmarried king. So if either one ascends unwed, hordes of maidens will reach for their heir.  
“Lei-la, are you most certain you want to do this?” Their pace had slowed as they had turned the hall that ends in the classroom. They were 20 paces from it starting. 19, 18, 17,  
“I’m not hiding from you anymore. It’ll be okay.” 15,14,13  
“I know that. But the fact that you are experiencing this, never mind in a controlled environment, it worries me.” 11,10,9,  
“Loki, I have utmost trust that you will do what you need to do. Especially with my safety on the line.” 7,6,5,  
“No matter what happens today, you will be fine. I’ll kill him myself if I have too.”3,2,1  
“And who are we to be killing today, Loki?” The perpetually bored voice of Laere echoed through the opened door.  
“Uh, our trainer. He’s been running Thor and I ragged. And with the Harvest festival coming up, we don’t want to be too worn down.” Loki turns to her and takes her hand. “I hope your studies are fulfilling today, My lady.” He leaned down to press another kiss. ‘ _That bastard is going down_ ’ His voice echoed in Loreleis head. It made her eyes widen, even more so as he winked. It was like when he came to her room last night. She heard him.  
“And I hope your training isn’t too strenuous.” he bowed to him. His eyes quickly flicked to Laere and bowed his head.  
“Good day teacher.” And he turned to make his way to his lessons. With Loki disappearing out of sight, Her heart began to tighten in her chest. The weight of what's about to happen finally dawning on her.  
“What are you doing? The class has started. Get inside, you whore.” Laere spit as his hands curled around Her bicep.  
Here goes nothing.


	5. fire

As soon as the young prince had turned the corner, out of sight to the Teacher, he broke out in a sprint. He only got a few stride in before he stopped, shook his head, and teleported to where his mother was waiting outside of the council room.  
“Oh hello, darling. How has your morning been?” The Queen greeted her growing son with open arms. With a few quick side glances, he embraced his mother, his lanky arms wrapping around her entirely. He took a slow breath of peace as he laid his head on her shoulder, which was difficult his recent growth spurt put him barely above her head.  
“It’s been good. Lei-la and I watched the stars and fell asleep in our tree. Then I’m fairly certain she stole the pastries from the young ladies breakfast in the garden.” The older woman chuckled as she kissed her son's temple.  
“I assume you walked her to her lessons, on time?” She checked. Loki nodded.  
“Yes, mother. Have I ever let you down?”  
“Let me down? No. Disappointed? Well, that's a different story.” Loki stopped and looked at his mother, seeing the delicate smile made him realise she was only jesting. But seeing her happy reminded him of his list of tasks.  
“Mother, can I voice some concerns to you?” Loki’s change in demeanour caught the Queen off guard. But she took his hand in reassurance.  
“Of course, my son. Whatever is the matter.”  
“Well, I know that we practice very practical magics in the safe environment of your sitting room, which is already charmed and protected. But as Thor develops an astonishingly higher skilled with ordinary weapons, I wish to further my defensive as well as offensive magics, to better play to make strengths in battle. I think that we should develop a specific room for magical combat.” Which is all true. Loki had complained to Lorelei how annoying it was for Thor to be extremely proficient in the fighting style taught to them, which naturally appeals to all of Those strengths. Loki wanted to be able to find his niche like his brother and to actually have a fair fight. But that meant incorporating magic.  
“Is that so?”  
“Of course. Brute strength is not my forte. But even there I would be able to practice my own fighting style without ridicule of the other boys. That and...I may or may have been tutoring Lei-la on magics you haven't cleared for her to use yet.”  
“I have not allowed her to practice other magics for a reason. As much potential that she has, it is all untapped, dangerous and uncontrollable. She needs to learn how to tap it, neutralize it and control it before she can learn anything. One cannot mend a bone if she must be angry to do it.” As if on cue, a strong yet not violent wave of magic filled the room, making the air taste ionized. Both of the practitioners could feel the change in the air, mother more than son. The latter which looked down to his chest to see the stone rapidly changing colours, an aggravated iridescent show all translating to ‘help’  
“Loki, you said she was at her lessons?” The boy just nodded as his mother whooshed past him and started walking rather briskly towards the hallway. Loki keeps up easily, using his long legs to his advantage. His heart was in this throat. He did not know if it was from excitement or fear.  
Or both.  
It was a matter of minutes before another wave of energy crested over the hurrying rescue crew. They were only seconds from turning the final corner. The air here was sharper here. Crisp and poignant. Rich in the ugly scent of fear.   
For a reason unknown to him, Loki stopped in his favoured approach and collapsed. The young boy was now so close to his friend that their connection has deepened in this moment of fear, causing him to feel the paralyzing despair. The moment he hit the floor, he could see the blackened eyes of Laere. The lustful gaze and power surge as he held down Lorelei. Loki could feel the blossoming bruises around his arms and sides. The spidery fingers combed over the body he currently shared. Lorelei was shaking she was scared, despite her plan.  
‘Kjaere’ Loki spoke to her. As a breath made its way through their shared lungs, Loki is thrust back into his own body.   
Frigga wasted no time running the rest of the way to the end of the hall, pushing the door open with instinct enhanced strength. A shout and a scream shortly followed.  
“Loki!” He was shouted for. BY his mother or by his friend, he couldn’t tell. But with the shackles of their strengthened connections severed, he rushed to his feet and ran inside the room.   
Lorelei was sobbing, curled into Frigga's side. The queen was whispering soft things and petting her hair. The girls substitute mother was holding her like a child, rocking her back and forth, the same way she did when Loki was small.  
“Lorelei.”The prince kneeled beside his friend, taking her into his arms and standing. A slight scuttle in the corner caught his attention, causing him to turn his head. Laere was bound by invisible chains, clearly knocked out.  
“Lorelei, are you alright?” The shaking girl let out a weak whimper. “Kjaere, look at me.” He instructed. Her baby blues were sharp from the redness that surrounded them. But when they met his, an all knowing smirk made its way onto her face and that when he knew everything was going to be okay.

* * *

  
As many times as Lorelei said she was fine, Loki did not allow her a moment of solitude following the incident. Even though his constant presence for the week leading up to the trial was a tad bit annoying, Lorelei was thankful.  
He was there when a servant sent her panicking into his arms after trying to wake her up. He was there when she broke Thor’s finger and almost his arm after he greeted her with a bone crushing hug. He was there when she woke up screaming, swearing that his hands were on her again. Because to Lorelei, Loki wasn’t a boy, wasn’t a man.   
His hands were that of magic, of a teacher, of a learner. The thirst for knowledge, for knowing. All for the enrichment of the mind. His smile was warm. Seeing it reminded her of the crackle of fire as you throw dry wood into the flames. Or opening an old book and breathing in all the dust, and the moment of breathlessness as you cough it out. His laughter was being stuck in the rain, how it smelled, how it felt. How cold you were after, even though it's the best kind of cold.  
It didn’t dawn on her until after the trial. Laere sent to hard labour for the rest of his life. A life of hard work, something a scholar like him had n knowledge for. It didn’t make sense to her until after she retired to her chambers that night, her constant companion close behind. It was when they were ears deep in a great big book they’ve been translating together. Loki had mispronounced a word, which had a vulgar meaning in Allspeak. She finally saw it when he threw his head back in a full body laugh, shaking the chair that they were barely sharing. He saw it when she corrected him, the way her lips formed the foreign words, the curl of her mouth as she tried to get the accent.  
Now they each had a secret. A first in their many years shared. An unspoken truth which they swear to themselves they will never ever willingly disclose. That they held an ember now. Deep in their heart. It burns low in their chest, naked to the eye. Buried deep in their logic and preservation.  
Kjærlighet.  
May it triumph.


	6. fem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of an introduction of an arc based on the myth of the Fortification of Asgard. It's a small arc, but I'm using it to accent something important.  
> Also possible warnings for mentions of assault.  
> Another note, I'm laughing internally at the name of the chapter. Though it's 5 in Norwegian, it' just. HA.

The experiences that Lorelei had with her teacher, though not on the surface, had left her impaired in a way. When compared to people her age, she had a certain nervousness about her. She was withdrawn, quiet. It only added to her already peculiar presence. Loki had taken it with a grain of salt, seeing as she accepted his equally as reserved yet sardonic personality. Thor had already tried to have his playmates integrated into his social group of warriors and their consorts.   
But that action was met with warranted realization. The pair had sabotaged countless training sessions, ruined personal belongs, and cause minor embarrassments. Though the younger Prince did go as far as cutting the lovely golden locks of the distinguished Lady Sif, one of the most extraordinary up and coming warriors of Thor’s class. A girl who has had to claw her way to distinction, had her hair cut by an enchanted blade, causing her hair to lose its golden appearance and to fade to a dark brown.   
Frigga had forcefully banished him to his chambers for a month and Lorelei had weight heavily into him with various hard objects. It was safe to say he had already a fair amount of bruises following the event itself. He learned his lesson.   
Along with his lesson, he took full responsibility for Lorelei’s education, no matter how informal. As he became more tactically skilled, she was well versed in theory and practicality. Should her magic ever reach a level of controllability, she would have already enough knowledge to be a competent sorcerer.   
They were a force to be reckoned with.   
But with their age, there came a variant of important questions. For Loki, it had to do with his political stature or his military involvement. Royal involvement in foreign affairs. He was faced with questions that made him think outward, for expansion. For Lorelei, they were more simple.   
“So Lorelai, do you have an escort for the Winter Solstice Ball?” Astrid tried to gain Loreleis attention at one of the Ladies breakfasts that Frigga thinks is ‘good for her’ and Loki thinks is ‘good for the deaf’.  
The answer to the question is not a simple one. Many would assume that she is going with Loki. Their close relationship is not one that is hidden to the royal court. Lorelei herself would like to assume Loki was her date, but nowadays, things needed to be verbal and public for them to be official.  
“Not to my knowledge.” In the corner of her eye, Lorelei could see one of the girls suppress a giggle.   
“Prince Loki hasn't asked you?”  
“Oh, He is currently. Preoccupied with responsibilities for the wall fortification.” The girls all gasped.  
“He has to work with that freelancing Smith? Oh, how dangerous.”  
“I heard he’s raising the wall with just him and his horse!”  
“Just him and a horse?”  
“Well, he is a giant.”  
“And Loki is in charge?” The group all looked to Lorelei, who sat there visibly bored with the conversation.  
“He was the one that came up with the...payment plan, yes.” Or in other words, the befuddlement of the smith. The silver-tongued son of Odin had concocted a plan to avoid the payment the Smith desired. Which included Frigga’s sister Freya’s hand in marriage as well as two celestial bodies. Three things Odin’s pride would never let him have.  
“That’s extraordinary. Who knew a Prince so young could be so well versed in economics.” The mousy unnamed girl coued.  
“More of a con though, isn’t it? My father is on that building council. He said Prince Loki all but denied the Smith any sort of payment for his good and hard work.”  
“Loki did no such thing.” The girls turned to look at Lorelei. “He promised the smith his wishes. The only thing he offered from the original agreement is the time in which the wall must rise. To just as justly pay the smith for his even harder work.”  
“But it’s impossible to raise such a wall all alone!”  
“Not alone, he has his horse.”  
“He wants the Moon and Sun. And the Queen’s sister as his wife. You can’t possibly think that the Allfather would allow such ludicrous exchanges be made for a wall?” Lorelei stood up and started to walk away. “The wall is almost finished. Within the capabilities of Asgardian builders. If the deal troubles you so, stop your childish prattle and do something about it.” The young girl was almost engaged by the others insult on her Loki’s character. In the midst of the anger, Lorelei could feel her magic beginning to spark at her fingertips. She needed him. She needs Loki. She needed to calm down.  
“Loki!” She shouted as she opened his door. “Loki, where are- Tante.” The Queen stood from her chair, dropping the pale hand of her groaning son.  
“Lorelei, dear. Hello.”  
“Tante, whats wrong?” In confusion, she looked to her necklace. It was glowing a low green, contentment. The pained groans from her friend told her a lie.  
“I can assume you’ve been keeping up with the Fortification Affairs.”  
“What did Loki do? Certainly, we didn’t pay him. We couldn’t.” She was trembling now. Climbing onto the bed where her friend has curled away, covers up. The pale arm that was exposed was gleaming in a sickly sweat. When she touched him, however, he was even colder than normal.  
“Loki? She lowered her voice. He stirred when her hand pulled the covers away from his head. He looked ill. Extremely ill. And very...feminine.  
“Lei-la.” The pet name sounded unfamiliar from the soft, higher voice that came from her friend.  
“What’s wrong, Loki.” Her friends face then turned rosy with blush, more so concentrated in their now more soften cheekbones. But they cleared their throat and went to sit up, causing the sheet to fall. That caused their cheeks to only redden further.  
“The new deal I struck with the Smith was that he could only have his steep compensation if he completed hi work in only one season instead of three, 1 third of the time. At the time, it seemed near impossible. But out of anyone on the council, I was the only one with a plan that did not lose us anything of importance.” Loki looked towards their mother. “Then much to our disbelief and displeasure, the Smith had surpassed our expectations. He and his horse, Svadilfari, were making great progress and would be finished by the solstice. Together, Thor and I conceived a plan in order to ensure he would not finish the wall by the end of winter. I disguised myself of a mare to lure away the horse, taking away two-thirds of the Smiths workforce. However, neither Thor or I thought that I could of been..” Their voice softened into a whisper.  
“Loki was raped by the stallion.” A new voice joined the conversation. Lorelei looked to the other side of the bed, to only to show the only other person who would be there. Thor.   
“Brother, there is no need to be so blunt. That’s my job.”  
“You are telling your closest friend what happened, not weaving a lie for father. Don’t beat around the bush.” The older boy was keeping his voice at an amazingly level and somewhat quiet volume. It confused Lorelei extremely.  
“But why are you sick? If you said you were a mare when it happened, surely you couldn't have caught-”  
“ There is a weird mutant baby horse growing at an alarming rate inside of me and we don’t know how to terminate it.” Now Lorelei was alarmed. Certainly, Loki couldn’t carry a child. He was..well, it makes sense why they’re more feminine now in human form.  
“As the pregnancy progresses, I’m afraid Loki will need to take animal form for the longevity of it. Their human form cannot hold a foal past the first trimester. “ Frigga began speaking again, preventing any prolonged silences. “I can keep him strong for a while. But there comes a time when even my power’s fatigued.”  
“Well, for starters, Loki can stop shielding me. That must be draining already.” Loki flinched. But then something in their eyes sparkled. “Wait, Loki. When you entered my consciousness, you could feel everything right? More specifically my pain?” The rest of the room went quiet. They knew of the event, but they did not know of the magic that transpired.   
“It was more emotional, but yes. I could feel what you felt. I even had bruises.” The queen silently caught on to what was transpiring.  
“Maybe if you stopped blocking me, we can split the pain, split the energy drain. That way none of us is left fully drained.”  
“Lorelei, you can’t possibly think I’ll let you do that.”  
“Loki, please. This could kill you. I know you are pretty stubborn to believe otherwise, but everyone in this room holds you too dear to lose.” The bedridden prince looked at the trio surrounding them. Then focusing on the girl closest to them. Her eyes were reddened, once with anger, now with fear. They could feel the emotions she felt humming under her skin. It hurt their heart to know she would give anything for them. With a breath, Loki touched Lorelei’s hand, squeezing it lightly. And with their exhale, She started to scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I base the majority of my interpretation on Norse myths. Seeing as in myth, but also even the comics, Loki is able to transform. In the myth, he is described as the personification of fire, ironically. And to me, fire really doesn't have a gender. Possibly preferred genitalia. So I'm playing into that as well as deepening the relationship between the two L words. It's a process.   
> Comment and tell me what you think!


	7. seks

The next few weeks leading up to the Ball were tiresome amongst the royals. There was a horde of planning and cleaning and rearranging to be done. But even with all its lustre, the party planner had better things to do.  
Preparation for a grandchild.  
After several weeks of agonizing pain shared by friends, the moment Loki took on the mare form, everything was smoother. Lorelei could actually climb out of bed without collapsing from a kick. Loki could keep food down, still mostly oats and hay, but they didn’t care at that point. They spent their days in their chambers, meditation most of the time. Lorelei tried to help Frigga keep up with party planning even though both would much rather be with Loki.  
One thing, however, that kept Lorelei on her feet was ‘Lady Loki.’ Most of the time, Lorelei spent her day with them as a horse. When night fell she would curl up in her chair before she can go check up on them. But when she neglects to see her friend for a couple days in a row, they decide to drop by in the most unnecessary way.  
“Good morning, my ever lovely companion!” Loki shouted as she ripped open the curtains, sending bitter cold air and burning sunlight into the room. Loki had the pregnancy glow about her as she twirled about.  
The female version of Loki was extremely beautiful, if not as sharp as the male counterpart. Though she was heavily rounded in her middle, her face, though soft with youth, was bound to be sharp and pointed. She was beautiful though. A beauty that lit a spark of jealousy in her old friend.  
“Loki, I swear by everything good and pure, you don’t let me sleep, I’ll give you soggy hay.” Even her laugh was beautiful. Gods did she have to stop being so delightful.  
All of Lorelei’s feelings of Loki were well hidden. Suppressed every time she heard his hearty laugh or was crushed by strong arms and a hard chest. She was very good at that. But this soft and delicate looking girl was causing Lorelei to slip up and act nearly as girlish as her.  
“Mother said we eat breakfast with her in my room. She wants to go over some details before I have to transform. I wanted to beat your servant here in order to make sure my face is the first face you see today.”  
“Well, I’m not a duckling. I don't think you’re my mother if that's what you’re thinking, Loki. We didn’t play house as children and we are certainly not playing it now. I need to sleep.”  
“Sleep is for the dead and pregnant.” She crawled into the bed and laid with her bright green eyes shining into Lorelei’s.  
“You’re physically taxing, you know that? I cannot keep up a social facade while you are constantly halfing my energy.” Loki just smirked and booped her friend’s nose.  
“Yes, but you love me.” As she rolled off the bed. That offhanded comment caught Lorelei so off guard that Loki was able to pull her out of bed.  
“Stop with the strain! You could induce your labour.”  
“I can induce my labour with any physical activity whatsoever. So let it be one where a smile at least graces my face whilst doing it.” Reaching for her dressing gown, Lorelei hastily drew it up as she stomped away.  
“Lei-la, where are you going? I’m lonely, talk to me.” Loki trailed after her with a playful aura. She tried to step on the long trails of the gown in order to trip her steaming friend.  
“I have to get ready for the day. My handmaid has dismissed for their longevity of your pregnancy for instances like this where she would not know your little secret. Gods know she’s no doubt played a hand in creating the dreadful rumours.”  
“What rumours?”  
“That it is I who is pregnant, no less with your child. Your disappearance is explained by your father’s outrage and a trip to the furthest reaches of his power as punishment. Better yet, they’ll think when I do not show up with a babe on my hip in the spring, that I would have lost the baby and be more of a disgrace.”  
“That's outrageous. Don’t these people have anything else better to do than fabricate lies about the people they serve?”  
“They spend our lives washing our backs, the least they do is talk behind them.”  
“But of yours? What have you ever done to deserve such scorn?”  
“I am a girl of no importance who is deeply intertwined with the most important family in all the realms. People look at me and see a girl who somehow was noticed, and handpicked, by the Queen. To them, I am living the golden life. But as they are simple people who want simple answers, they won’t accept that the Queen was just good. For no royal is good if the common folk still die in their wars. Even though their husbands and sons are being sent out to our wars, they are miles away from the enemy. Meaning that they yearn for something to hate. That something is me. And honestly, I can't blame them for I do not know why I am here either. You are a prince, Loki. Second born, but still an heir. There is no real reason to raise and groom me to be a perfect Queen when all I could ever be to you is your whore.”  
“I can’t, I won’t let that happen, I’ll-”  
“You’ll what Loki? Coerce a prominent lord into marrying me so that our children could marry? So that I can be the mother to the King’s nephew’s wife? So that if I don’t succeed at capturing a princess a heart, my daughter may do it for me?”  
“There is nothing your children can do that you already haven’t done.” Lorelei’s heart stopped in her throat.  
“Loki…”  
“Don’t. As you stated, I am Second Born. While I do matter, I don’t matter that much.”  
“That's not what I-”  
“ I am only a game piece that is to be controlled by my brother is that it? Do you think yourself so unimportant that my parents wouldn't even consider the leisure of allowing their second son to marry for love rather for gain?” Loki’s face was flushed and shining with a thin layer of sweat, her breathing heavy. Lorelei on the other side was ice. From her unblinking silver eyes to the stillness of her stance. She was cold with shock as Loki was hot with fury.  
They held each other's stares for only a moment more before Loki turned on he heels and made her way out of the room, head high with the infuriating pride that is always evident in either the masculine strut or feminine sway. With the door leading to the tunnels slammed shut with magic, it’s sound reverberating through the room, Lorelei reached inter her shirt to grab the old stone and threw it to the ground. A scream ripped its way through her throat as she fell in anger, at the herself and Loki. As tears of anger fell onto the marble floor she looks across and saw the stone feet from her face glowing a bright, melancholy blue.

  
~~

As the Solstice crept even closer, the two of the closest people in the castle couldn’t have been further apart. As Loki’s condition progressed, their pains multiplied. Through sheer anger did Lorelei make it through her day without collapsing from pain. It was less bearable without Loki around. But she wasn't giving them the satisfaction of her needing them.  
“Lorelei, How is Prince Loki? There has been barely any word of him in weeks.” Theses social junctions will be the death of her if this pregnancy doesn’t do it first.  
“I haven’t a clue. Have you asked his brother?”  
“Well, why would Prince Thor know any more than you?” The tea in her hand was spilling onto the saucer. Deep breathes. That's a calming thought when there is a wave of pain emanating from my gut.  
“I am not sure. Now, would you excuse me? I am not feeling well.” She bowed her head and left the tattling group of imbecilic maidens.  
‘Why would I be the one to know about him? I’m not his keeper’ The girl thought to herself as she walked briskly down the empty halls of the castle. She was nearly back to her chambers before she heard the Queen’s voice echo down the hall. If she saw the Queen before any reconciliation between her and Loki, that conversation would be aeons long.  
So instead she took 180* turn towards the wrong directions. But as the voice of the Allfather started to flow into the new hall she walked she started to panic. Unable to now escape to the library she took an unknown right and started towards an archway that leads outside.  
Which was a bad mistake?  
Since the outside activities proper ladies participated in came down to brief strolls to the freshly clear walkway, it could also be understood that their fashion doesn’t change much with the seasons. Meaning that the long cotton dress that Lorelei wore was the same one she would have worn in fall in anything but colour. Leaving her little protection from these uncleared snowy paths that went past her bare ankles.  
Though she travelled in nothing faster than a frantic walk, her heart was pounding at such a speed that her chest ached with each pump. Her lungs burned with each gasp of air that left her chest. The pain in her gut had now begun to affect her legs. Making them stiff and painful.  
When she was surely away from any voice of possible scolding, she allowed herself to collapse in the powdery snow that would be gone by this afternoon only to be replaced by next morning.  
Warm tears fell down her cheeks. She didn’t know why she was hurting so badly. Everything, every atom was on fire yet frozen at the same time. She was caught in an antagonising paradox as she knelt like a pale statue in the gardens of the castle. Nearly unnoticed by the group of young men that strolled past her in seach of somewhere to wrestle.  
“Lei-la, is that you?” The girl barely recognised the voice. But hearing it was male, she flinched way.  
“Lorelei, it’s me.” A warm hand covered her shoulder, letting a sigh escape her lips.  
“By the nine, you’re ice, Lei-la. We must get you to Mother. She’ll know what to do.” Soon she had left the snowy floor and now laid cradled in hard cotton. “Fandral, go find a healer from the barracks. They are closer to her chambers. Knock first. Do not enter her chambers. It wouldn't be proper.”  
“You taking her to her room isn't proper. “  
“She’s my sister. It doesn’t matter. Go fetch a healer. That’s an order.” The voice barked. Lorelei was struggling to keep her eyes open. She tried tucking her chin into her chest. ONly to be met with a deep dark red.  
“Beeding. ‘M beeding.” She started to panic. The lord holding her tried to calm her as he began nearly running back towards the direction she ran from.  
“Mother! Where is my mother?” The lord shouted. All the while Lorelei was beginning cry soundless sobs from the pain in her stomach. She could barely sense the difference when she was stripped of her outer clothing and placed into a bed.  
“Lorelei, dear. Stay with me now. Don’t go to sleep.” A sweet voice tried to shake her. She just wanted the pain to stop. To go to sleep. To rest.  
“Lorelei. You can’t sleep right now. I need you to help me. Help Loki.”  
“Loki”? It was the first coherent word she had produced since she was sound.  
“Yes dear. Loki. My son. Your dearest friend. He needs you right now.” _Loki_ she thought. _Needs me. Like I need him right now. To share the pain._  
“Where, Loki? Wrong?” She started to feel her arms again. She started to try to roll to her side, but a fresh wave of agony made her collapse face forward.  
“It’s time. The baby is coming.”

 


	8. sju

The moment that they walked out her door, they wanted to turn back. Why did they get so angry so fast? With Lorelei, they were always able to stay calm, keep a level head. She was their rock.   
It’s this damn pregnancy. The hormones are making him act uncharacteristically.   
“Loki?” Someone tried to pull him out of his self-deprecating cloud.   
“Loki.”Now that Lorelei will probably never speak to him again, there are only two people who would talk to him now. And the one bothering him can’t be Mother.   
“Go away, Thor.”  
“C’mon, brother...or sister? I don’t know what I’m supposed to call you.”  
“At this moment I wish to be neither. “  
“Loki, can you tell me why Lei-la was down today at lessons?” The awkwardly growing boy tried to find a place near Loki where he didn’t tower over them. But the younger’s burning glare made it hard to find a safe spot.  
“Because I am a monster who ruins everything they touch. It was due time I ruin my relationship with Lorelai, don’t you think?” Loki tried to stand on their own and waddle away from their brother. But they stumbled into the oaf they were trying to avoid.  
“Lorelei loves you. She’s like our little sister.” Loki pulled away from Thor harshly.   
“Oh that's the rub, isn’t Thor. Our sister. Our shadow. Have I ever told you how cold it was in yours? Do you think I want her in mine as well? Just keep her in our pocket and protect her from all the bad guys that come her way? Well, are you going to protect her from me, Thor? Protect her from my big meanness because I’ve hurt her. I love her. So I hurt her. ”They shouted.  
“That doesn’t make any sense?”  
“That’s because you’re a good big brother. I’m not.”  
“Loki, you’re her best friend. You both prefer each other's company over mine. Over anyone's even.”  
“The nature of my love does not equate that to a sibling.” Both of them flinched. Partially at the high pitched shriek that the exclamation came out in, but the nature of the exclamation. It took solid concentration for Thor not to let his jaw hit the floor.   
“You’re-”  
“Thor I will gut you and hang your entrails up as garlands if you speak again. Go away.”  
“But sist- brot-Loki! You’re meaning to say you l-”  
“I said enough! Leave my room! Leave my presence! Leave the realm! I don’t care if you take a dive off Asgard. Just leave me alone.” Thor put his hands up in surrender. The last thing he needs is Loki collapsing and Mother berating him for it.   
“I don’t remember Mother ever being this insufferable when she was pregnant with you.” He said flippantly as a vase was launched at his head. He quickly goes the message and left without another word.

\---  
It was some days later. Loki had grown even more sickly as the baby was draining them and they couldn’t tell if Lorelei had broken the link or not. Frigga was helping them brushing through their even longer hair.   
“Mother, am I a monster?” The Queen stopped her brush stroked, taken back by the question. Loki stared at her in the mirror. Her face was unreadable almost. Hesitant.  
“What makes you think that, my child?” Her voice sounded pinched. She continued to brush through their hair., not meeting her child's eyes in the mirror.   
“I destroyed the best gift you ever gave me.”  
“Life?” The women jested. But Loki pulled away and turned in their chair.  
“Lorelei.” Her face nearly breathed relief.   
“You are both are very close. You are bound to have some fights. Look at you and Thor? I think this has been the longest you two haven't assaulted each other.”  
“False, I threw a vase at his head last week. Nearly took an eye.” The Queen just rolled her eyes. But they narrowed quickly at her child's face. Their beauty was just sharp and ethereal in this feminine form. It once again makes her thankful for finding Lorelei. To have a daughter. Especially after what has happened before.   
“As I said. You are bound to have squabbles.”  
“This isn’t a squabble, Mother. I actually feel as if I've driven her away. My words have frightened her away.” They let their chin fall to their chest, not wanting to look their mother in the eye.   
“Oh, you underestimate your importance to her. Just as she underestimates her importance to you.” Frigga waved her hands and quickly braided Loki’s hair into a simple braid.   
“I’ll see you at tea. The winterberry tarts are being baked this morning. I’ll sneak a few.” She was quick and abrupt before walking out of Loki’s chambers.   
“What in Hel is that supposed to mean?” Loki went to stand up with the support of the chair, but a sharp pain emanating from their gut, causing them to fall back into the chair.

\-----------

“Loki! You wouldn’t believe what happened today during sparring! This girl was able to catch me off gu-brother!” When the eldest brother entered his younger’s room, he saw Loki on the floor, barely breathing.  
“Loki! What is wrong, wake up!” When he reached for them, the touch of the skin was so bitterly cold it caused Thor to pull back with a hiss of pain. They were curled around their bloated stomach shaking from such harsh pain. They were vibrating with magic. They needed to transform in order to give birth. But they couldn’t without the help of the All-Mother. But at this point, it was too late. Their magic was too depleted to do much of anything else.   
“Thor?”Their voice whispered. They tried sitting up and reaching for their brother. Their hand left a blackening mark on his forearm as they steadied themselves on their feet.   
“Loki, what can I do?” This was the most serious Loki had ever seen Thor. His eyes focused on theirs, waiting for orders. So Loki swallowed their pride and asked for the only person who could help them through this.   
Thor took the command his was issued and went off to carry it out swiftly. But not before he suffered another bit of frostbite in order to place his sibling on the bed. He knew he didn’t have much time. He had the whole castle to search and he needed help.   
“Dear friends. I need your help on a sensitive matter.” Three young men stood around a slightly smaller frame, berating them in a fast pace interrogation. They all stopped and turned to face the eldest prince.  
“Why, of course, Prince. How may we be a service”  
“Volstagg, I need you to stand guard of this chamber. Whatever you do, whatever you hear. Only allow my family and those we permit through. Hogun, you must go find my mother. Send her to Loki’s chambers. Tell her it’s time.”  
“Would we be with you, your highness?” The newest member of Thor’s entourage, Lady Sif, had come forward. She was a thing of beauty. Her long golden hair nearly rivalled Thor in colour, and reached her back, loose from frivolous hairstyles. She was younger than the rest. But Thor earlier learned not to trust first impressions.   
“Lady Sif, You can assist Fandral and me in search of Lady Lorelei.” The young woman took a step back.   
“How will she be of any help?” The prince gave her a very hard look.  
“Lady Lorelei is my sister in every way but blood. You will respect her as long as you are in the present and past it. Do you understand?” She nodded in confirmation.   
“Good. Now hurry. We haven’t much time.”

\-----------  
The All mother made it to Loki first. Leaving now two of the Warrior three outside the door just wondering.  
“Loki! My poor child!” She ran to their bedside and took his hand, trying to read his vitals. “Why didn’t you send for me?”  
“You have all but forbidden anyone from entering my hallway. No one heard me.” Their face was so pale. Paler than normal. Translucent even. The moment she touched them she knew it was too late to change them.   
It was nearly a half hour when Thor returned. Frigga had been doing what she could to keep Loki’s paradoxical fever from boiling them alive. But when she saw the shivering Lorelei, it made more sense. So the moment she was placed in the bed next to Loki, both of their shiverings ceased and their skin began to warm up.  
“Lorelei, dear. Stay with me now. Don’t go to sleep.” A sweet voice tried to shake her.  
“Lorelei. You can’t sleep right now. I need you to help me. Help Loki.”  
“Loki”? She whimpered  
“Yes dear. Loki. My son. Your dearest friend. He needs you right now.” She began to look around, seem more aware.   
“Where, Loki? Wrong?”She started to try to roll to her side, but she fell forward into the bed.  
“It’s time. The baby is coming.”  
“What?” Frigga helped her roll over to see her bedmate, sweating and crying by their shared pain.   
“What are we going to do?”She could remember the conversation about when Loki would give birth. They knew their human body couldn’t handle a foal exiting their body. So they had agreed to birth in their horse form, transforming at the first sign of labour. But it seemed like Loki had been along for several hours. They were exhausted. They couldn’t transform now. But how else could they remove the baby?  
Remove.   
“Loki?” Lorelei reached for their hand in the space between us. Their bump was early touching Lorelei’s own stomach.  
“Lorelei.” Their eyes flickered open and locked onto hers. They were dark from exhaustion and red from the pain. _Help me_. She felt them say. She moved closer until their legs were twisted around each other and their stomachs were touching.   
“Do you trust me?” Loki tried to laugh through the next wave of pain they were hit with. Instead, they tried to squeeze their hands a bit harder.  
“With my life.” Lorelai looked with their pained eyes to their chapped lips. She could feel the familiar heat of her magic begin to boil. It wasn’t angry like it normally was. It always felt like she was trying to hold water outside of a vase. The fluid splashing over the sides uncontrollably and unable to keep it still. But now. It was like she had it in a glass. Perfectly still. And moving only how she wanted it to. She when she kissed them, she sent her magic through their mouth and into their body, sinking down and around the fetus. She could feel it’s kicking, it’s relentless movement causing the both of them pain.   
That pain didn’t stop when she began to pull the fetus out, materializing through Loki’s swollen midsection and into the silken sheets beneath you. It was cleaned of its afterbirth and set on the floor, near Thor’s feet.  
“It has...eight legs?” The two on the bed didn’t pay much attention as the magic slowly left them and went to assist the horse in standing up on all 8 of its wiggly legs. It lifted its heavy grey head towards Thor, who started to panic and tried to leave its sight.  
“No, no. I’m not your mother, little octa-horse.” The horse tried to stand up to walk over to Thor.   
“Not your mother! Loki! It’s going to imprint on me!” Lorelei felt relief enough to laugh a bit. But when a deeper chuckle followed hers she finally opened hers. His face had sharpened back up and his eyes darkened. He pressed one quick kiss to Lorelei’s lips before crawling over her to where his foal sat, trying to find it’s mother.   
He snuck up behind the small horse and lifted up the tail while stroking it’s still damp coat. It let out a bit of a squeak as it now directed their attention at its true mother.   
“Good morning, my son.” He used a soft voice as he tried to help the colt stand on his own. Which he wasn’t having much luck with. SO he fell back to the ground. That caused everyone to laugh at the sight of the new life. All the while Lorelei lazily watched from the bed, her eyes fighting the urge to fall asleep.   
“Go to sleep child, he’ll be here when you wake up,” Frigga whispered into her ear. She hummed in to respond as she drew her arms to her chest, grabbing hold of the cool stone that now glowed a warm pink. She saw the same light against his bare chest. He turned back to her and gave her a bashful smile before turning back to his kin.   
Her dreams were of him that night.

 


	9. åtte

   Loki spent another week on his ‘diplomatic trip’ truly bonding and playing with his son, named Sleipnir. He didn’t really speak during that time. And if he did it was to shout at Thor to stay away from his child. 

   He didn’t even speak to Lorelei, whose uncontrollable magic saved his life. But he still couldn’t get over their fight. Whenever he’d see her he’d think of how he just blurted out his feelings to her in a hormonal rage. No thought. No consideration of what she might think or feel. Just out there. But then she kissed him. She kissed him. Granted it was to save his life, but she kissed him. He was sure his rejection would be rooted in the fact that she might think of him as a brother. Loki can even conquer he would never kiss his brother, even if it was a life or death situation. So why had she?

   “Loki! My brother is back at last!” Thor swept his brother back into a bone-crushing hug.

   “Thor let go of me this instant.” With a hearty laugh, he dropped his lighter counterpart, who still had the luscious long hair his more feminine form had. 

   “I’ve missed you, brother. I understood the situation that was at hand, but I missed you brother. I missed being able to do this.” Before Loki could ask what, Thor’s hand struck across his face, sending him to the floor.  The elder brother broke out in booming laughter as his brother tried to recuperate from the attack. But this just was a distraction. As Thor only paid attention to one Loki. Not the one behind him.

   “What would mother say, brother?” This cause Thor to quickly turn around, giving Loki a split second to recover and take Thor's lumbering legs out from under him. 

Sleipnir neighed at the sight of his uncle falling so heavily. The week-old colt has been growing at an alarming rate, already standing at his father’s shoulder.

“What would she say indeed.” The boys look towards the new voice in the room and saw their father. They scrambled to their feet, straightening their backs and shutting their mouths. Sleipnir stood behind his father, pressing his nose to his hand, wanting attention.

“Father, how are you-” Loki started.

“Father, we can explain-” Thor tried to cut him off.

“Silence, both of you. Your mother has informed me of the happenings of the past several weeks. My disappointment is fruitful and towards the both of you. You tried to undermine a legitimate arrangement, you’ve postponed the completion of the wall-”

“Asgardian masons could have easily-”

“Silence, Loki. I am not finished.”The old man shouted. “You both mad ridiculous, childish actions that could have disrupted the peace we have with the nomadic giants. Then after all of this, I am told you’ve birth an abomination-”

“My son is not an abomination. The circumstances of his birth are indeed not ideal. Either way, he is a horse. A giant horse. With eight legs. Who understands human speech at a week old. He is an exceptional steed in need of an exceptional rider.”

“I cannot allow a horse to be an Heir of Asgard, are you insane?”

“I am not saying that I am-”

“Father, this is ridiculous. You act as if Loki had asked for this? That this is all his fault. It was my plan that landed him in the situation to be overpowered by a Giant stallion and then taken by force. You act as if those his chose to suffer through not even a normal pregnancy, but that of a giant horse pregnancy. The only reason he is here today for you to lecture is that Lorelei saved him. And believe me, this whole ordeal affected her the most, even more than Loki. Yet neither have blame. Now if you want someone to shout at, shout at me. “ The old man was red in the face by the time Thor was done. He had kept his hard glare on his youngest for several more seconds before finally letting out a breath.

“The colt his too large to reside in your chambers. He is to be relocated to the stables immediately and you must return to your duties at once.”

“But father, he isn't even weaned.”

“You want him alive, yes?” The young prince choke on his next words.

“As I thought. Have him in the stables by sundown. Or I’ll send the stablehands. Or the butcher. Depends on what you say next.” Loki took a deep breath for his retort, but his son pushed against his shoulder, trying to get his attention. H let out a harsh inhale, for the sake of his son.

“Yes, father.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the other side of the castle, Lorelei wasn’t in pleasant company either. SHe would rather be stuck in a cage with a thousand twiddling birds. 

“Ooh, is your dress was done, Lorelei? Surely you’ve had the seamstresses working day and night on your gown.”

“Oh and your hair, it would look so pretty in a seasonal updo-”

“Has Loki asked you yet?”

“Has he returned?”

“What happened last week? We were told you fainted-”

“And carried off in Prince Thor’s arms.”She tried to answer that question.

“Are you courting Price Thor now?”But she was bombarded by another.

“Weren’t you courting Prince Loki?”

“Did Thor ask you to the ball?”

“Are you going to marry Thor?”

“Are you going to be Queen?”

“Would you stop talking for just a moment? Or at least take a breath, you twiddling twats.” The mass of 10 girls all stopped mid-sentence and stared at her. With this gift of silence, she continued.

“First and foremost, I have no desire to be Queen. “

“IS that because of Lok-”Someone started.

“What is the point of asking questions if you do not receive the answers?” She took a breath to calm herself. 

“The princes are like family. I would have no desire to court,” she took a pause, to consider her words wisely, “Thor. He is far too much like a brother for me to consider such an action. Last week I was overly exhausted with helping with the ball so I fell asleep on a bench. Thor saw me and offered to help me back to my chambers. Never did he enter. Neither Prince has asked me to the Ball. I haven't even thought about my hair, let alone my dress. Now, if you’ll excuse me-”

“It’s the Princes!! Look it's them!” Someone shouted. Now suddenly Lorelei was forgotten as the boy was ambushed by a horde of adolescent girls, all doting on Loki’s hair or his absence.She felt a kind of relief when they too were bombarded with questions.  Especially Loki, whose physical discomfort went unnoticed. He kept looking at him and had a clenched fist behind him. To the untrained eye, he just seems uneasy at the group of people. But his eyes are dilated and his breathing is rapid. His arms are tense and he’s ready to fight. He’s protecting something. He’s protecting Sleipnir.

“Loki! Walk with me to dinner?” _Thank you._ She could almost feel him whisper in her ear. She smiled at him as she made her way through the crowd of girls and to his side. He respectfully bowed his head at the ladies who all cursed perfectly. The gaggle of girls keep their eyes on the pair until the pair turned the corner.

“Why in Valhalla did you bring him out here!”She scolded as she pulled a piece of his hair. He dropped the illusion he had on his son, who perked up at sight of Lorelei and nuzzled his cheek.

“Mother told Odin. Who in turn deemed it necessary to threaten his life if I did not move him to the stables by sundown. Not after berating me, of course. Though Thor did defended my honour rather eloquently, might I say.” Loki kept the group moving towards the stables. The sun was quickly setting and they didn’t have much time to get to the stables. But then he remembered.

“Lorelei, do you trust me?” Lorelei has him an exasperated look. But after seeing the seriousness in his eye he took his hand. She marvelled at how it dwarfed her own, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. They were so slender, like willow branches. Quick in the breeze yet strong in a storm. She raised it to her face to press a lingering kiss on the back of his hand. 

“I think that question is a bit redundant between us, isn’t it?”They locked eyes. There was something in their eyes. A ferocity. A passion. If his son’s life wasn’t in danger, he would have kissed her. 

“Good.” He pulled her hand closer so she stood pressed against him, whilst throwing an arm around Spencer's neck. It was in a blink of an eye before they were mere feet from the stable door.

“That was brilliant! When did you master that!?” She broke away too quickly from his embrace to marvel at their new surroundings. Loki let out a sheepish chuckle and his cheeks turned a slight pink.

“That’s the first time I’ve tried it practically. I’ve read mountains of instruction and theory. But I haven’t even-”

“It’s wonderful, beautiful, and woah-” In her excitement, she tripped over her own feet and started to fall to the ground. Quick to remove his arm around Sleipnir, Loki was able to kneel down and catch her entirely before she hit the ground, holding her in his arms.

“Never the most graceful, my dear.”In this rather close position, she tried to make herself seem most fearful. Which was for nought.

“My dear now? Adding me to your menagerie?” He snickered as he laid her gently on her feet. He took her hand in his and started walking down the stable aisle.

“If you were part of my menagerie, you’d be a rat.” You gaped her mouth opened and took her hand from his, hitting his shoulder.

“If I’m a rat, you’re a snake.” She tried to say very seriously. But his continuous giggles were infectious. They had finally stabled Sleipnir, who seemed better suited to the warm hay and oats. 

“Do you remember the time I transformed into a snake?”

“And Thor picked you up and you transformed back in his arms.”

“I shouted ‘Arg! It’s me! Then I stabbed him.” The two were now bent over laughing in the middle of the stables. The horses were even beginning to look oddly at them.

“Eh eh, woo. That was the same year as you came to live with us.” They seemed to sober up a bit, and look at each other in the eye again.

“It seemed so long ago.” Lorelei shied away first.

“A day is forever and a moment with you.”He reached to turn her face back to his.

“Lorelei, look at me. What I am about to say is very important and I can’t believe I’m saying it in a stinking barn. But I guess it better said her then shouted through a door.” When their eye met, he was lost for words. Him! Lost for words. SHe watched him struggle for the right thing to say. Instead of saying anything, she reached around his neck and pulled his half of their necklaces out. She let the faint pink light flood her hand as she bent her head to kiss it. 

“You’ll find the words soon enough.”He took her hands from his necklace and held them to his chest. She could feel his heart racing but said nothing. Just took his hand in hers to pull him away from his son. 

“Say Goodnight. We’ll see him tomorrow.  I’m starving.” He muttered something to his son who was more engrossed in the new sights and smells around him.

“So, ready for my first public meal since before the fortification?” He asked as they walked back in the direction of the castle.

“I don’t know if you are ready for it.”

  
  
  
  



	10. ni

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don't know if I'll make this a thing. But I jammed by "Leave your lover" By Echos when writing this. So, yeah. This might be a thing? Maybe not every chapter. But ones influenced by a song maybe.

   “Why didn’t you tell me Thor got another member of his moronic little gang.” Dinner went, as expected, horrible. Odin put down an indult Loki at any opportunity. Even around his peers, Thor became a less refined, younger version of Odin.

   “I don’t even remember seeing her.” They made it to his chambers and entered the lounge area near the balcony.

   “Remember seeing her? She peacock more than Thor did! Wearing armour to dinner, openly insulting a prince and his-”

   “Father’s ward.”She quickly cut him off.He paused for a moment and watched her. It seemed like a reflex, so he just placed it in the back of his mind.

   “What does she think gives her the right to act the way she does?”

   “The same that is having me sit here while you ventilate all this nagging complaining. Friendship. Namely with two of Asgard's most powerful future leaders. I am an orphan graced with a beautiful life and secure future because of your shared affection with your mother. She is given a position in which to be proud of. A platform to shine her glory. No one cares much for soldiers as they all look the same. But when you are beside Thor and his billowing red cape, it’s hard to miss you.”

   “And she’s a woman.”

   “Which makes her all the more extraordinary. If she didn’t have Thor’s backing she would have probably already been attacked. If not with swords, then with words. Social exile is more deadly than you think.” He let out a cheeky grin.

   “Exile wouldn’t be exiled if it was with you.” That made her eyebrows nearly go into her hairline.

   “Perhaps you’re right. I should go befriend lady Sif. Being friends with you Odinsons is tiring work. We need some support.” Loki just looked at her faux-insulted.

   “Might I say being your companion is not as easy as a summer’s day? With your dresses and your long hair-”She walked up and pulled the end of his own locks.

   “Our hair is the same length!”

   “And your endless brushing, and braiding. Not to mention how long your baths are.”Lorelei threw a meagre punch at his midsection.

   “Lei-la. That was pathetic. “ He jested as he dug a finger into her side, causing her to yelp and hit him again.

   “I do apologise I don’t spend hours a week sparring with professional, seasoned warriors.” She threw a harder punch into his chest. He felt that one a little but didn’t let her know that.

   “Maybe you should. Give Sif a run for her money.” He took a step away from her and knelt lower to the ground, putting his hands towards her. She scoffed and batted his hands down. He stood looking rather insulted.

   “Why not.”

   “It wouldn’t be proper.” She let roll off her tongue. Almost instinctual. She didn’t believe it. She thought everyone should be able to defend herself. But would Odin really allow her to train alongside his sons? Especially when she am politically seen as a daughter.

   “Well,” He took a testing step closer to her,”Is this proper?” She was bewildered about his question. Even more so when his head quickly bowed. But she understood when she felt something cold kiss her left cheek, even linger on the right. When he stood back up, both of their faces were reddening as a result of his actions.

She saw him starting to pull away from her, so she quickly stood on her tiptoes and kissed his jaw. It felt slightly prickly there. Could he be growing a beard already?

“Now that really isn't proper.”This threw her back into bewilderment. But it didn't last as his cold lips were pressed onto her lip this time. A bit clumsily as it was more of the skin between her nose and upper lip. But she tilted her head slightly to realign. He caught him even more off guard when she threw her arms around his neck. Still not moving their lips against each other, Loki took moment to wrap his arms around her waist, enjoying the newfound physical closeness they shared. She could feel him smile into their kiss as he picked her off the ground and spun her. This made her end the kiss as she held on tighter to his neck, gigging in glee as they grew dizzy.

“Most definitely not. But you were never one for conventions, were you kjære?” He could help his smile grow larger at her words.

“I am a prince in love with my father’s ward. What is supposed to be stopped existing the moment I laid eyes on you. As a boy, I couldn’t even fathom why I should ever be parted from you. I never knew why. But I guess it what your silly books call ‘Love at first sight’?”

“My books aren’t silly. They’re just Midgardian. So it seems like they made their point nevertheless.” The young lovers stayed in each other’s embrace for what seemed like ages. Eventually, they gravitated to Loki’s couch and fell asleep in front of the small fireplace.

The Queen came to the Prince’s chamber’s early morning to speak to him, more so before his father could take the same pleasure. She was greeted with a heartwarming sight. Never had she thought that they’d grow into such friends, much fewer lovers? They were as good for each as they were young, making the accidentally match utmost pleasing. Leaving the queen happily sipping tea until the first opened their eye.

“Hello, mother.” The prince had a hard time speaking with a length of hair constantly falling into his mouth. But he couldn’t move it since he had a very heavy sleeper tucking his hands into hers. The queen noticed this and brushed his face gently.

“She loves you.”

“Yes. As I love her.

“Good. Just remember you are not yet even engaged.” His ears reddened at the accusation.

“Mother, we’ve never-”

“All I’m saying is that your father’s temper is too short for me to reach. He’s already upset that I hid your pregnancy from him. Do not try anything to upset him more.

“Yes, mother.”

“Go back to sleep, son. I’ll bust your father enough not to notice your absence today.” With a sleepy smile, the prince fell back into his slumber. He stayed in her chair, refilling her tea. Until another voice called her attention back.

“Hello, Tante.”

“He loves you.”

“As much as I love him.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Forgiving him the one thing I could never give him.”

“It’s only fair. You gave my life meaning. You saved my life. That, and you’re good at matchmaking.” They both let out quiet giggles.

“Only for my sons.”

“What do you have planned for Thor then? Is it Sif?”

“I’m not so sure about that girl. Thor is too into himself. Though he is my first son, he is not ready for romantic love. He’s yet to mature enough. I suspect you and Loki to be married far before him.”

“Tante!”

“It’s only a matter of time, child. You both are so public, there are so many official things that must happen before you can announce an engagement.”

“No more talk of marriage, Tante. We’re still young.”

“Apologies. I’m just happy you finally admitted to each other. It was agony just watching you both pining for each other.” Lorelei hid her blushing cheeks into Loki’s chest.

“Just make sure both of you are presentable for the Solstice tonight. Odin may use it to embarrass Loki. Make it so that he is the one embarrassed.” With that, the Queen finally left. Leaving the two alone for the rest of the day. Loki only made his first appearance wearing his most formal attire that wasn’t his entire suit of armour whilst greeting the guests alongside his brother.

“So brother, rumour is Lei-la spent the night in your chamber last night.” The elder whispered to his younger and she gleefully followed with greeting an old sparring partner. All while the younger tried to keep his composer.

“Where did you hear that?”He smiled a tight-lipped smile at a merchant and his wife.

“Oh you know, the gossip circles.” Thor finally looked at his brothers fuming expression and laughed. “I jest, brother. Mother told me. Your secret is safe with me.”

“Nothing happened. Nothing that you’re assuming, you brute. I would never shame her like that!”

“Calm yourself, dear brother. If that suspicion rained true, I would be the first to throttle you. Only if I beat Lorelei herself to it.” All this talk of… fornication with his dearest Lorelei made him sheepish. They had shared but a few kisses, nothing milder than merely closed mouth caresses spanning nothing longer than a minute. Perhaps prolonged embraces instead of their lips meeting. But no fevered movement signalling anything more heated than that. No wondering hands or mingling breath. But the mere mention, a jest of that level of intimacy, well. Left his ears rather red and his mouth closed for the rest of time they greeted their guests.

“Loki, have you seen Lorelei?I'm afraid I haven’t seen her since this morning.”His mother had prompted her. Few things crossed his mind. Where was Lorelei was one? The other was why was his mother so adamant about his and Lorelei’s courtship if you could even call it that.

“I’m afraid not, mother.” The older woman just frowned as she left her son's side. The royal family was lining up to be announced. Father with mother’s arm in his walking the long golden hall to his throne. Next came Thor, the eldest and most celebrated. His title announced by Odin,

“Prince Thor, son of Odin. God of Thunder. Firstborn and heir to Asgard. “ The people cheered.

“Prince Loki, son of Odin.” It needn't be said he was second born. It was evident that he was less favoured over the polite applause as he walked up to his family, standing a step lower than Thor.

“Lastly, may I present Honorary Princess Lorelei, the charge of the King of Asgard.” The crowd silent as the night as she appeared at the tall doors of the Throne room. Even from so far, Loki could see her glow. Her dress seemed like solid ice yet flowed like your breath in winter. As she approached he could see the silver decor along with the bottom, branching upward towards her waist. The light could barely catch the pale colour of her dress, the decorative sleeves nearly blending in with the paleness of her skin. She glowed like the full moon. Face round and radiant.Her thick silver hair was twisted back into something more complex than her usual wear. As she ascended the stairs to the opposite of Loki’s, she shied away from his far stare. She seemed like a snow sculpture. Her dress melting into her flesh and moving like the snow drifts on the mountains. All the while all three of the family behind them intently watched their amusement. The Queen and Prince with amusement. The king in calculation.

“Now, may the Solstice ball commence.” Odin slammed the butt of Gungnir onto the golden floors and they turned into a gleaming silver, causing a ripple of magic turning the hall from its warm gold to winter’s chilly blues and silvers. Still stunned by her first appearance, Loki didn’t even see her get swept up by all of the prattling females of her suppose of social group.

“I’d find her if I were you. She is all but a woman now. If your feelings ring true, you will ask for the first dance and never let her go. You’ll be a fool if you allow her to be swept away by a foreign wind. ” For an old man, his father still knew how to move silently. Loki was stunned to hear such encouraging words from his father. Nevertheless, the young Prince went into the crowd that had swallowed his dearest whole.

Food servers, jugglers, dancers as well as constantly moving guests made finding her hellish. There was too much blue. Too much white. Too much ice for him to locate his beloved ice queen.

“Loki, wait.”He had stopped in excitement, hearing a quiet voice call his name. He quickly turned around. In displeasure, he saw a mousy brown instead of a liquid silver covering the head of the young girl in front of him.

He stared at her for a moment at first in impatience, then slowly his heart melted. She was dressed in a green as deep as holly, then red berries decorating the soft brown of her hair. The blush on her cheeks grew as red as sai berries when the prince asked for a dance. The hue of her dress nearly blending with the green as his, they blurred into on moving figure as they danced.

They did not dance for one song. Nor two or three. But they danced until her feet hurt and he had to carry her to the reserved seats near the royal families table. He offered her drink and winter fruits as he fawned over her. His need to touch her, no matter how innocent, took over. He touched her hand, her arm, her foot with his. He needed to touch her. He couldn’t take her eyes off her.

The night seemed to past too quickly for his liking as the party-goers began to tire and leave the great hall. He quickly offered his arm and an escort back to her room. She politely declined but opted for his lips pressing sweetly against hers.

“I bid you goodnight, My Prince.”

“I bid you good night,kjære.”

He watched her as she found her mother and father and exited the great hall, watching as she disappeared from sight. He soon saw his brother and sister standing next to a pillar, idly chatting.

“Thor! Lorelei! I do hope your night was as lovely as mine has been.”

“If you are here to gloat, brother, we do not want you here.”

“Gloat? Brother, surely you danced with ladies aplenty. I’m surprised the line wasn't out the doors.” He observed Lorelai's face, it seemed ruddy. Her cheeks looked like someone had placed a hot coal inside of the ice. “Thor, you didn't even offer Lei-la a dance? She is all but our sister. Surely you could have done the honour.” With a straightened back, Lorelei left the two young men without so much as a goodbye.

“Why am I the one to always clean up your messes, Loki.”

“What mess?” The older prince threw a heavy punch at his brother's sternum.

“I always thought you were far more clever than I. It’s a sad day to see that be proven false.”Thor turned and joined his parade of warriors and made a swift exit of the hall. Determined not to let his sour brother ruins his momentum, went in search of his mother. When he saw her sitting but his father, she dared not meet his eyes. All while his father started a hole in his chest with one angry eye.

“What mess?”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The girl who stole our boy away, I seen played by Rose Gilroy. Who is ironically Rene Russo (Frigga's) real-life daughter.


	11. ti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Underdressed: By VERITE

 

“That bloody idiot. Can this kingdom go one week without his folly?” Lorelei just shrugged with weak shoulders and Thor angrily paced her chambers.

“Thor, it is alright, I pro-”

“He told me you kissed. Then when I suggested more than that he blushed like a child being scolded. He loves you. More than me, I’m afraid. But why in all the realms would he pick the daughter of a man who sneaked and schemed his family name into wealth? Even though that's Loki's kind of man, his daughter his not his kind of woman.”

“Oh?” Lorelei perked up.”What is his kind of woman, Thor?” Thor let out a sound of annoyance.

“Oh, I don’t know. Someone whos kindness matches their beauty and their wit above that. With hair as pale as milk and eyes that resembles the sea on a summer's day. How her stare warms the ice in his veins and soothes his anger with a smile. Someone who he’s known since he was a boy and might as well be his sister, which still sort of grosses me out. But I guess that weird relation is what delayed his confirmation of his affection as he is shy and needs a social crutch to stand on because otherwise, he causes widespread mild terror.”

“Well, I don’t know about that lowlords daughter. But I have never prevented him from his schemes. The downfall just gets transferred to me and blame is shared.”

“Sweet sister, you are as blind as you are naive. You two were made for each other. He is just being pigheaded. He’ll have his fun, get his heart broken. The realise what he truly wanted was here all along.” Thor walked over to where she sat and kneeled on the ground beside her.

“I do not want to wait around idle and alone while he sleeps his way through the maidens of Asgard, then be ready to clean up the mess of his heart. I love him, Thor. With all of my being. But I will not just stand here like a wife whose husband has gone to war. Not knowing that  _ if  _ he comes back, he’ll be worse a mess than he already is.” Thor’s beefy arm slung itself around her narrow shoulders, still dressed in her solstice dress. She wanted to rip it off. She wanted to climb into a hot bath and melt into its waters. She wanted to disappear and not exist. What Thor was saying was kind and true. But she didn’t need his words. She needed his brother’s. Her heart was the only place where Thor came in second. They had only just acknowledged each other. How could he then throw that all away on a girl Lorelei was sure she has never heard speak.

“Leave me. I want to be alone now.” She stood and started making her way to her washroom.

“Lei-la, surely you don’t need to be alone-”

“I said leave, Odinson.” Though she was small, smaller than his mother. Perhaps from her harsh first years of life have left her stunted. But he stood a foot taller than her, yet her stare made him feel as small as a child. He just bowed silently and exited her room without another sound. She couldn’t even tell when he had left the room.

She did just as she wanted. She let the dress stained with tears falling around her ankles and submerged herself in hot water. She wanted to melt away. For someone to wander in and wonder why there is a dish of milk in her place. She barely kept her nose above the water. 

Did he really love her? Was this all a long game? Give the girl who has nothing the world, then take it from her? Take her laughter, her warmth, her heart. Leave her a husk. Leave her alone to die. Make empty promises and lies. Cause her nothing but trouble, then say it was all for nothing. No reward. No gratification. Just torment. Just loneliness.

She sulked and soaked until the water lost it’s numbing heat and started to chill with the winter air. She emerged and stepped out of the tib, not caring about the pools of water she left. What did it truly matter? She took long, slow strides towards the long windows adjacent the washroom. She waved her wrist and opened the windows and moved the curtains aside. The light snow blew into the room, chilling her damp skin, making gooseflesh cover her body. The city was still alive at this time of night, especially after the events of that night. Golden light reached the lonely princess in her tall tower. 

Numbed un anguish, She just clothes herself in a thin nightgown. She went to go start her fire, but an opened book laid near the flint and steel. It was a gift for her name day, which was designated as the day she came to the castle. A gift from the treacherous snake that had betrayed her heart. She thought of using its pages as kindling, but couldn’t bring herself to burn the blameless book. 

Instead of seeking warmth now, she searched for the cold. NO matter the heat of summer, he always felt cold to the touch. Chilled like he had spent the day in a snowbank. She missed how he never seemed to even sweat during training, allowing him near her as he didn’t stink. She craved the cold now. She needed it. 

In near desperation, she made her way down to the nearest courtyard and sunk into her knees. The soft silk of her dress became transparent up to her thighs. Her fingers burned as she gathered the powder into her hand and left it to melt. It was refreshing. It felt like home. She stood and wandered further into the courtyard. 

On its edge, it looks out onto another. The larger garden that held their special star gazing tree. She couldn't see into it from the top, but she could see the entrance Nearly hidden except to the knowing eye. Her heart warmed when she saw Loki emerge. She could see him searching for someone. He looked up directly at her. She could see the rose in his cheeks in the dark. His smile lit up his way. She smiled back and started to make her way towards a bunch of vines flowers that overflowed into the next level. When her feet touched the frigid ground, she started to pick up her pace. She knew it. It was all a misunderstanding. A mistake. Just a joke.  But then she heard a giggle.

Not his giggle. But a lited, feminine giggle. Another person walked over to him, crossing over in front of her. She remained standing and unhidden as they unabashedly locked lips, passionately moving together with wandering hands and tongues. Lorelei felt sick. It was when they finally separated for air did Loki take her hand and kissed her knuckles.

“Do you trust me?” HE asked her. She wordlessly took his hand and pulled him through the hidden entrance of the tree. Lorelei fell back onto her knees then. The betrayal now certain. She knew of their place. They had barely talked. She was no one. How has she earned the privilege to know of their place? She knew she couldn’t stay there. Surely it would kill her.

By the time she climbed back up the vines, she went back to the edge. Hoping to see them angry in a relationship ending squabble. But instead, she heard the lustful sounds of lovemaking. Sounds of pleasure echoing off the walls and following Lorelei as she ran from the edge. She couldn’t rid the sounds of her calling her name. It followed Lorelei back to her room. Through the closed windows and through the walls of her washroom. Just her name.

_ “Sigyn. Sigyn. Sigyn. Sigyn.” _

  
  


\-----------------------------------------------------

 

“You want to do what?” It was breakfast. The rest of the royal family and important figures sat along the long golden table. Everyone now stared at Lorelei. Who was sitting next to Thor today? Her usual seat was taken.

“I want to go to Midgard and live among its people. More specifically, I desire to train with the Masters of the mystic arts. I believe their way of focusing energy might help me in harnessing my own innate powers.”

“But you are still so young. Going that far, for who knows how long?”Frigga was the most concerned. She was confused on why Loki had had Signy on his arm the morning and not Lorelei. Thor was fuming with anger for his brother’s actions. Odin sighed in the fact that he knew his son was going to mess up the one good thing that has ever happened to him.

“I am a nearly a grown woman.”

“Unmarried,” Odin added.

“I am leaving home for schooling. For a learning experience. You’ve sent the Princes on quests for weeks in order to train them for their future.”

“What future do you wish to plan for?” She darted her eyes to the dark prince, who was barely paying attention to what she said.

“The garrison of spellcasters are lead by Loki at the moment. Just as Thor leads his own garrison. But when it is time for the Princes to rise to true power. Thor as king and general with Loki as his second in command, it will leave the spellcasters uncaptioned. Allowing such powerful soldiers without regiment and left ploy to enemies to recruit. If I could learn to control my own power, as well as learn to lead and strategize, I could take control of a vital part of the army that will be left deserted when your sons come into power.”

“You, a young unmarried woman would like to travel to a primitive realm, learn among it’s sorcerous, then return to command the elite spellcasters of Asgard?”

“I think it could be a learned experience. You did announce she was a Princess of Asgard now. It seems only fair to allow her the same privileges as the Princes. If she comes home unsatisfied with her experience, then we will deal with that at a later time.” The king sat quietly for a moment. A moment turned into a minute. Then a few of those. Then he spoke.

“Loki, my son. What do you think?”

“Why ask me?”

“It’s expected of you to produce an heir. It is equally likely you’ll have a daughter as well as a son. What would you do if your daughter wanted to venture into the unknown savage world of Midgard.”

“She’s not my daughter. Nor is she your daughter. You should not concern yourself with the comings and goings of the common folk, father.”

“Loki, that is not the way to speak to your...dearest friend.” Frigga sited her son. Who then, in turn, shrugged the scold off.

“What sin would you rather me commit? Lying or impoliteness.” Frigga opened her mouth to berate him more, but Lorelei cut her off.

“It seems the decision has been made, All-father. I’ll leave at the end of Winter. Midgardian winter is rather harsh. Nothing like Jotunhiem, but harsher than ours. I’ll make my own arrangements.” The young lady stood, face hard as the ice she seemed to be carved into. She bowed to her betters at the table and made a hasty exit. Thor looked at her plate and notices the mere honey and bread she had left untouched, honeycomb unbroken. 

The three looked at the youngest member with various looks of discontent. This young girl they all loved was hurting deeply. After barely a day of reconciliation. She was worse than before. 

Before she was just a lovesick little girl. She didn’t know how she felt. In a mere span of hours she was given the tools to properly grow into the lady she was meant to be, they were mere fakes. They broke apart like broken glass between her fingers. Cutting her deeper and worse than before. So from the bloody shards, she built her own tools. She hardened her heart with the winter winds. 

She had been too dependant on him. She couldn’t be happy if he was unhappy. She was always sad when he was sad. But no more. Now she was her own woman. She had been granted the opportunity to truly find herself without the overcasting shadow of Loki. To separate herself from his mischief and misconduct. No more LoreleiandLoki. Only Lorelei. 


	12. elleve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt or Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson, Covered by Sleeping at last
> 
> Goodbye, my lover is more bleeding heart than I want, but the lyrics are what I want, while the music for Already gone is more musically what I want the mood to be.

The weeks following the ball, the castle was transformed. Lorelei had retreated farther into her shell. She herself had changed the most. She no longer dresses in creamy colours that blended with her skin. She dressed in deep dark blue soft leathers and thick wools. Her hair braided tight around her head in one thick lock. She did not smile. She never laughed and she rarely spoke. Whatever spark of warmth died as winter progressed.  
Everyone noticed. Everyone was left concerned. But the young lady would not stay in anyone's presence for very long. She rarely took meals with the royal family or left her chambers for anything more than supper on Fifth day. She spoke to no one. Those who did were swept to the side in a wave of her angry red magic. She slowly became feared by the servants. Despised by her fellow ladies.  
“Really must you be so important. I grow tiresome of your childish behaviour.” Frigga was nearly at her wit's end with her child.  
“I truly do not know what you mean, mother.” The younger prince was arrogant and aloof as he lowered winter berries into his mouth  
“Do not act so blind. Lorelei is your oldest and dearest friend. She leaves for Midgard on the morrow and you seem not even convinced to see her off.”  
“I’ve told you, Signy’s father invited me for supper. It would be as equally rude to refuse that invitation as well.”  
“She is of the Royal family and your… friend. She status alone prioritises this silly little flame of yours.”Loki scoffed.  
“She’s not just a flame. I lo-”  
“No, you do not. You have not been acting like yourself. You have no been acting like my son. Something is wrong and it has to do with that girl.”  
“I am not just some scared little boy you can toy with anymore mother. I am a man. I make my own choices. I love this girl. I plan on marrying her. I plan on her being the mother of my children. I-”  
“You are still a boy, Loki Odinson. You are still a boy and I am your mother regardless. These are nothing but empty wishes pushed into your head. You are too clever a person to do something so careless and rash. Whoever this man I am talking to is not my son.” The Queen rose to her feet, keeping her glare on her son sharp and unrelenting. The Prince averted his own eyes, not wanting to reek another wave of wrath from his mother. She turned to leave the room but stopped.  
“If you are not there when we see her off, you will deeply disappoint me.” With that, she left the room. She did not know what she was going to do. Without Lorelei, someone who was always by his side, how could she figure out what was going up with her cryptic son?  
  
\-----------------------------------------  
She was to leave tomorrow, yet everyone was still fussing over details.  
“Are you going to have an escort?” The head of the guard asked.  
“That’s preposterous. It would call for much attention. I’ll go alone.”  
“And walk into the city?” Thor asked.  
“I’ll have måneskinn. It wouldn’t take more than a few hours to ride to the temple. Heimdall is to drop me far enough away from the city. When I land, it will be their rainy season. Meaning plentiful rain and lightning. If not, I’m sure Thor could lend a hand with that new hammer of his?”  
“Sister, please let me escort you. I do not feel comfortable with you going by yourself in an extremely savage unknown place.”  
“Thor, just because you start fights wherever you go, does not make them savage. With måneskinn, I’ll be within city limits before midday. Then at the temple by tea.”  
“But how can we be certain?”  
“Heimdall can watch me until the moment I cross the threshold.” That nearly seemed like common sense to her. Have the watcher of the realms watch her until she's safe. Obviously not.  
“I’ve had enough of this tedious over-management. She will arrive on Midgard, and with Heimdall's watchful eye, making her way to this Kamar-taj. Upon her arrival, he is to report that such then return to his duties.” Odin stood weary and aggravated. Everyone else too rose and bowed untie excited.  
“Will you need help packing, dear?” Frigga looked at the girl, who kept her eyes on the floor even after the king had left.  
“No thank you, Tante. I am appreciative of our offer. Now, if you'll excuse me.” The girl bowed once more and exited the room. The elder prince went near his mother.  
“I still do not like this. Something feels off.”  
“Something has been off since the ball. But I do believe that this trip will be for the better. A wound won’t heal if it’s constantly prodded and poked.”  
\---------------------------  
Lorelei did not sleep that night. She knew she should. While she was rather proficient at riding, it has never been for long distance. She was sure she was going to be sore and her hands raw from holding the reins. But for the life of her, she couldn’t get any sleep.  
Instead, she got up and repacked her small bag over and over. She took out a winter cloak, added a nicer gown, removed that. Packed some light sparring armour she had fashioned. Took that out. Added a pair of riders pants. Added her favourite copy of Midgardian tales. Removed it. Added a book of Asgardian tales. Removed that.  
She ended up enjoying her back and all its contents onto her bed. From its contents, she picked up a fresh journal, for documenting her experience. A feather and ink. A brush for her hair A single, simple gown. A more casual dress. She seemed finally satisfied with these choices. There were a few hours of night left, perhaps she could capture some sleep.  
She was sat at her vanity undoing her hair, brushing it until it shown like melted silver. She had gone to removing her jewellery but paused when she reached her neck. The glowing pendant has been a lustrous red since the day of the ball. Why she still wore it? Perhaps it was to keep her focused on her escape from their prices. It had only been weeks yet there was the talk of an engagement.  
The girl held the stone in her hand. It was still cold. Oddly shaped. Rough edges. This little rock has saved her life. It has saved his. Unlike him, she did not filter her emotions. Not that she knew how, but she still did not. Still hopeful that he would see the blue her’s has been and come rushing to her side. But now she decided that hope wasn’t doing any good.  
She climbed into her bed with it still clenched in her hand. She fell asleep thinking it would be dark and empty like it has been. But she didn’t. She was instead tormented by things she could never have. Standing on the top step of the throne, beside the worthy King of Asgard and her husband. They were watching a mass of children playing in the throne room. Hair of all colours. Three of which was some shade of golden yellow. Two at either side of the spectrum. A wispy white of a young boy and the ink like locks of a young girl.  
“Get back her Lokison! You’re it!” One of the Blonds called.  
“You wish, dear cousin.” The wispy boy ran from his cousin.  
“We should have another. Just to even up the playing field.” He whispered fondly, taking her hand and pulling her closer.  
“I don’t think we can ever catch up. Sif is certain she is already expecting again.”  
“Then perhaps we should go on and play catch up.”  
  
\-------------

Her face was wet with tears. Why, of all nights. Did she have to dream? And of that, of all things. The sun has barely made the skyline blush when she crawled out of bed. SHe would have been better without those few hours of sleep. Alone, she readies herself. Braiding her own hair had become a simple habit, doing it as it was the day before. She than clad herself in rider’s pants and a short skirt. Atop that a dark sleeved coat and soft leather riding boots.  
She opened the door to her chambers right before Thor went to knock.  
“Sister, may I walk you to the horses?” He took her bag from her shoulder as a courtesy and followed with her through the halls.  
“I take it my farewell party is rather small?”  
“Father parading you throughout the streets like a war hero. The last anyone has seen you were the ball. They miss their princess.”  
“I am no one's princess.”  
With that, they stopped talking. Which Lorelei was thankful. Quiet Thor was her favourite Thor. He has always been rather soft to her when it’s just the two of them. Any smell of another man, he becomes as kind as a nursing bildshnipe. Because what kind of King shows any remote kindness to his crib mates. They had almost made it towards the doors before He spoke again.  
“What’s that in your hand?” She had nearly forgotten she had the stone clenched in her hand.  
“A farewell gift.”  
“Aren’t we supposed to give you those.”  
“Technically yes.” She hated being so short with him, especially when he has been the only source of communication, aside from Frigga of course. But she couldn’t let her soft-hearted nature deter her now. Not when she was so close to getting away.  
“Lorelei, my dear. Did you sleep at all last night?” Frigga came over, dressed in her bested and plated in light armour. She looked like the Queen she is. She deserved a daughter like that. Perhaps Sigyn can be that for her.  
“It would have been better if I hadn’t. I’m fine, Tante. I promise.”  
“You’ve been making a lot of those, child. I hope I’ve raised you well enough to keep them.” The trio made their way out and towards the party of soldiers and the All-father sat upon Sleipnir. The stallion was barely a two months old, but already large than the other horses. Thor had told her that Loki was put to the task of breaking him, as he had gifted him to Odin and no other stablehand would step up the challenge. She walked up to the Allfather to greet him, as well as greet Sleipnir.  
“Hey boy. You’re growing up too fast!”  
“He is a horse. Not a child.” The Allfather spat at her. She ignored him as she Sleipnir a firm pat and turned to mount måneskinn. She was at the front of the party, seeing as she was the main attraction. People cried and threw confetti and waved banners. It was like she was a war hero returning home, or going back to the war itself.  
They left the common people at the gates to the rainbow bridge. Now riding point and with no guards around her, she felt extremely exposed. She looked over the side to the raging sea beneath then, just wishing for a wave to crest over and sweep her away. As they neared the Bifrost, she started to lose colour in her face and break out in a sweat. The spring morning was still a bit chilled, so there was no reason she would be drowning in perspiring.  
Heimdal came out to meet the party, standing tall in his golden armour, his matching eyes watching her intently. She brought måneskinn to a stop at the Bifrost steps, leaving the gatekeeper to reach his hand to her to help her down.  
“Beautiful morning for travel, Princess Lorelei.”  
“Heimdal, we are friends. No need for such formalities.”  
“In front of my king, I must, My Lady.” She conceded. She heard the rest of the family unmount and walk up to her, faces sombre.  
“Tante, Do not cry. You did not cry for the princes. Do not cry for me.” She could read the Queen's reddening face long before she was near her. She instead did not speak, fearful that her voice would betray her. The All-father came to her next, taking her face in hand and kissing the top of her head.  
“You will do good.” The outward appearance of his affection seemed genuine. It had nearly warmed her heart that the old man had shown actual affection to her, but she knew better. That was a command. If she does not come back ready to command the forces, he will see the trip as a waste, and will forever disregard her whims like those of a child's.  
“I will, Onkel.” This time she caught him off guard. While Frigga was always Tante or aunt. Odin was always Allfather or your highness. Never Onkel. Next was Thor, who was one second away from being a blubbering mess. Not only could he not do so because of the All-Father, but his gang of warriors were in the party as well. He still had a reputation to hold onto.  
“Don’t do anything stupid.”They said at the same time. WHich caused them to laugh a bit, lightening the mood. WHen their momentary joy ceased, she gave a tight-lipped smile and threw her arms around his neck. He, in turn, squeezed her so tight that she thinks a rib might have popped. But she tried to squeeze back with equal vigour, knowing that the boy will now only have his warriors for company. She looked at the three standing in front of her and held in a sigh. She knew she longed for one more person. But she knew better. She finally turned her back to begin to mount måneskinn. But she was stopped.  
“You must properly bid well to all members of the Royal family.” Odin bellowed. This caused her to freeze, turning back to the group of three…  
That was now four?  
“Loki?”  
“Mother is right. I am a prince before all else. You’re a friend before that.” He was here. Although it seemed like he was guilted into it, he was here. Full and willing and real. Lorelei dropped the reins and walked over to him. Letting her stoic face star naked of any outward emotion.  
He saw her. He saw what she had become. What he had caused. This was not the Lei-la that was always hot on his heels. This was a woman, sure and confident. Cold. Very cold. He unwillingly let his face fall into one of a man trying to pet a rabid dog. Not very if they were going to be bitten.  
She could feel his eyes trying to unmask her, trying to figure this woman who was in front of him. She kept her glare on him. He had looked at every other part but her eyes. He avoided her eyes.  
“Loki.”  
“Lorelei.”  
“I have a gift for you.” He summoned a detailed scabbard, with a dark bone handle. He withdrew it and revealed a glimmering black blade.  
“I got this for the girl who could never stand up to my father. But I am giving this to a woman who stood up to me.” He flipped the blade in his hand to hand her the handle. She slides it back into the scabbard and placed it on her sleeve.  
“ Riding into battle is easy. You don’t know them. You don’t know their story, of their home. Or even their name. To you, in war, they are the named enemy. That is all you need care for. But war is much more problematic is the enemy is your friend. You’ve laughed with them. You’ve cried with them. You’ve bled with them. It is much harder to strike someone down when you love them.” His eyes finally flicked to hers. They were sharp as ever. Clear and green as moss. He wanted to hold her eyes for a moment longer, but she looked down to her hand. It was orange. It was pulsing. Fearful. Scared. She heard him swallow nervously and reach for her hand to bring on his mouth to kiss.  
“Well, Princess Lorelei, I bid you safe-” She pressed forward and anded her mouth on his. It was quick, fleeting. Merely seconds long. But long enough for her to see. To see that she was wrong.  
She let go of his hand and walked away. Nearly running when she climbed up on måneskinn. Quickly, she trotted to the back end of the Bifrost. She heard a clamour of voices as the slicing of Heimdall's sword ended with a loud thud. SUcking her into the bright colours of the cosmos and sending her downwards.  
Heart still beating fast, she kicked måneskinn into a gallop the moment her hooves met the solid ground. She ran in the pouring rain and under claps of thunder and flashes of bright familiar lightning.  
ON Asgard, Frigga was being held close by her eldest son but trying not to shed more tears than they already had. But Loki. He stood there frozen still. His hand clutched around something cold. Something that was his. But also wasn't. In his hand, he held her stone. It glowed a deep blue. A deep sad blue.

But a name was on his lips. It was red and green and blue. He looked at the stone and squeeze it in his hand and turned. Walking past his family to climb onto his horse.

"Loki?"

"I have an errand to run. Please excuse me."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so far the largest chapter, coming in at 2900 words. It was going to be longer, but I cut off about a thousand for the start of chapter tolv. From here, time will move a bit quicker. Since Lorelei has a longer lifespan than 99% of the people at Kamar-Taj, time will pass differently for her anyways. So Midgardian years will past like Asgardian months, kinda. I haven't figured it things out perfectly, conversion wise. But I'll write her time in Kamar-Taj very differently than her time on Asgard. Which (for plot purposes) be written differently for when we move onto the movie storylines.


	13. tolv

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter, Thank You: By Amber Run

She rode to the edge of the city and marvelled at it expanse. She sadly climbed off måneskinn. 

“I’ll send for you when I reach the temple.” She kissed her mare’s nose and grabbed her solitary bag off of her back. The deep black coat shimmered with the rains of their arrival, making it easy to watch as her horse rode back the way they came.

She then turned and headed into the unfamiliar city. The barters and tents reminded her of Asgard’s. So bright and loud. The smells, the sounds, the languages that the locals were chirping. She brought her hood down to feel the heat of the sun, feeling so good after the rain that brought her here. She paid no mind to the dark-skinned locals that stared at her ghostly appearance. She startled a man when she spoke to him.

“Excuse me. Can you point me in the direction of Kamar-taj?” The frightened man seemed to ease. It was relieving to know that All-speak stretched to Midgardian languages as well. 

“North on this road. Next to a chicken seller. Big ugly woman. Can’t-miss her.”She bowed her head and whispered her thanks as she handed over a bag of golden coins and continued on her way. Someone must have seen the exchanged. AS nearly as soon as that happened, she could feel someone following her. 

Desperate to lose her tail, she took a left into an alley, hoping to see them pass her by. Instead, she ran into someone else.

“Where are you going, pretty girl?” She froze. Her magic freezing in her fingers. 

“I have gold. I will give you it all. If you leave me alone”

“Now why would we do that?” another voice came from in front of her, possibly the one who was following her.

“A girl like you must be rich.”A third person came from the direction of the first.

“Your father would pay even more money for you back.”A hand called its way around her arm. Her breathing stopped for a moment. Memories turned her to stone. 

“Maybe not all of you. We could sell your hair.” One of the men stepped close enough to smell her hair.

“Or just send your family your hair. I might want to keep you a while.”

“Leave me alone. Or I’ll kill you.”She shook as she spoke. Not very terrifying. It caused him to pull out a knife.

“I’ve always wanted to taste a white flower, Tau.” She could feel the warm metal against her neck. For the life of her, she could not push her magic out. She was frozen in fear Just like when she was young. Just like with Lærer. Oh Tante, you were right. I shouldn’t have done this.

“Perhaps on another day.” A feminine voice made her heart finally heave and breath to flow again. She saw a woman in yellow robes, pale skin with a bald head. 

“Aha, there you are Sejun. You get a wilted one.” One of the other men went up to this woman and tried to grab her, but she moved too quickly to Lorelei to see what happened. She just soon saw the Tau that was holding her on the ground, unconscious.

“My lady, forgive my manners. I am the Ancient One. I am the Sorcerer Supreme. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“I am Princess Lorelei, of Asgard You knew of my arrival?” The woman smiled.

“Why yes. Your adoptive mother sent me a message the moment you announce your desire to come and train here. I tried to send word back, but it seems that the All-Father has some sort of gag order on Earthly messages. No matter. You’re here now. Relatively in one piece. But nothing a cup of tea can do. Come. Follow me. We’ll find you a room and give you robes. Give you time to acclimate and rest after your day of travel. Then tomorrow, bright and early for your first lessons.” The Ancient one started making her way back where Lorelei had came.

“Well, come along now. Unless you want cold tea.” The younger girl followed the Ancient One back towards the bustling streets. Back towards people who most likely wouldn’t have helped her if she screamed for it. It was a bone-chilling thought knowing no one in this world truly cared for her. If she were to die at this moment, those who would care are unreachable. 

True enough, The Ancient One walked past a large woman selling chickens.

“I normally wouldn’t tell those who cross this door that is is truly a gateway. But I do not want you to react badly to it’s warding magic. Most humans who walk through this door isn’t affected. But your specific lineage might cause some variation.”

“Specific lineage?” The odd woman just nodded her head and walked through. But she was right. The warding did feel weird. LIke walking through a thick syrup.

The inside was very plain. Not like how one would expect a place of magical learning. But Lorelei supposed that was the point. That they keep the simple in order to re-ground themselves after a day of such, well magic. 

The Ancient One led her across a courtyard with people of different coloured robes practising formations. Golden sparks formed intricate geometric patterns. 

“White robes for novices. When you gain enough control and skill, you may advance to be an apprentice, and wear crimson robes.  Once you reach that level of Disciple, you may wear whatever colour you wish. As a type of reward for your hard work.”Lorelei nodded as she continued to follow her into a tall, dark building made of hard orange rock.

“This will be your room,” She said as she opened a narrow door to an equally narrow room. “I know it isn’t what you are used too, but most of your time will be spent studying or training. You might spend meals in here. But otherwise, you mostly will just sleep in here.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. Now, meals will be served at 8 am and 6 pm in the main courtyard, unless it rains. Then it will be held in the first room we walked through. However, if you wish to dine in your room, you must fetch your own meal. No one will serve you here. This is not a nursery. This is a school. An institution. Everyone is here to learn and you will respect that will they have to do so. Do you understand?”

“I suffered at the hand of a violent man for years just for education. It’s a necessity and right to all cognitive beings. I would not have wished to attend a school if I could not do as little as respect that right.” The Ancient One raised a brow (or did if she had brows) to her declaration. Nearly seeing the hidden hatred of this man she spoke of.

“This is also a place of healing. Whether it be lifelong ailments or recent wounds, still oozing. But this, not a place to let such anger boil within. Express them in a safe and healthy way, then let go.”

“You speak as if letting go is so easy.”

“Child,” Lorelei tensed at the name “I am much, much older than I appear. I have yet to find a companion with a similar gift of longevity as mine. To live a life like mine, a life among mortals, you learn quickly how to lose them. For if you don’t, you perish alongside with them.”

With that morbid statement in the air, the Ancient One left my room with a crisp shutting of the door. Within the span of a few hours, I was alone again. The only difference was the major change in scenery.

But alone nonetheless.


	14. tretten

The next few years were easy. Human years at least. They came and left like the seasons of my homeland. The mortals drifted into Kamar-taj just as fluidly as they left. Some found the task too difficult for them to handle or master. Or simply too weak to do what was required of them.  
Lorelei herself flourished.   
For the first time in centuries, she was able to summon her power with a clear and calmed mind. That breakthrough itself took nearly 3 years for her to master. Once that door opened, she accelerated. By her 4th year she was no longer in the white novice robes and by her 6th her was removing her marron apprentice robes and was able to choose robes of her own colour.   
While many chose very inconspicuous colours such as earthen brown mossy green, Lorelei chose to stand out. In this new place, free from the elitist gossip that had stunned her social climbing. Here she was adored by her strength and overcoming the obstacles of her own magical handicap. Her humbleness and humility though she could overpower anyone in the temple beside The Ancient One obviously. As the Ancient one was clad in a mustard yellow, easily grabbed attention and barely hid her in plain sight. As the former Princess wanted to silently announce her advancement, she chose robes of a bright turquoise blue.  
Decades started to pass and Disciple became Teacher. She started leading novices in basic lessons. It caused strain on many as those who sought the help of Kamar-taj had lived hard lives and wanted to learn a way to live with their hardships. What they did not seek was to be taught by a girl looked no older than 16. The resentment usually was sated when those who could make it to apprentice realize she was a master in her own right. But then the angry resurfaced when they made it to Disciple and Lorelei, for lack of better words, kicked their asses.  
“Emmanuel has been absent at mealtimes, I worry for him.” The ancient one usually joins me on my morning walks. Today we are in Paris.  
“My friend, you worry for everyone who takes interest in you. You’ve been here for 45 years. There is no reason why you can’t take a lover. Or three.”I stopped, feeling my face being come flushed.  
“My friend, my time on earth is dedicated to the acquisition of knowledge, not notches in my bedpost.” I had no time for silliness like that. My duty was to acquire the knowledge needed to return to Asgard in preparation to lead the magical forces. I hadn’t the time to mess about. The Allfather would not approve of his ward gallivanting around.  
“All work and no play makes-”  
“Someone doing their duty to their King.” The ancient one just shook her head and we continued to walk in silence. They watched the sun rise into the sky and catch something metallic in the distance.  
“By the Norns, what is the god awful thing?”  
“That is the Eiffel Tower. It is being built for the world fair this year.”  
“It’s so ugly. Why do they need that just sticking up into the sky like that?”  
“Remind me, the Palace of Asgard is the tallest thing in Asgard, just jutting out into the air as well?”  
“Yes. But that is a Palace. This is a metal stick in the middle of the city!”  
“Let the Parisians do what they please with their skylines. You have a class to teach in an hour. We must return.”The two found themselves in an alleyway and started making the motions for use of their slingring. Lorelei entered into the courtyard were here first class was beginning to gather. It was more if an intermediate class, but some of the disciples attend just to keep their rudimentary skills sharp.  
Kamar-Taj was flourishing with new students, coming and going as they pleased. The Midgardians had their troubles. Minor wars were constant around the globe. Skirmishes on who is better than the other, or one stealing the others land. Way across the Pacific in America’s, they were right about the enslavement of people. But the humans are still so young. They never have long enough to live and learn from their mistakes. They usually die thinking that their way is the only way. They never get to see the beauty that they have destroyed. But there are many who still do. Who pledge their lives to help others, to save others. A small light to shine for mankind.  
But that small light early dimed when the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria was assassinated. The war was meant to end all wars. It would have been easier to name all of their countries who weren’t involved. It shook Midgard as over 41 million people died. Some of the Masters from the temple returned to their home country to either fight or help rebuild. Those who fought were banished. We were to protect this world from Mythical threats. Not itself. If its people were to wield relics against it? Perhaps. But they used guns and tanks and gas and things that were a machine, not magic. The Ancient one and I were the only ones there who did not have a home. Did not have family here. We were probably the only ones who lost no one in the World War 1.  
It wasn’t as hard as we thought, to rebuild. Her royal majesty Indian army had sent many homes in body bags. Others scared. IN many ways other than the flesh. Lorelei wanted to help them. To heal them and show them how to help others. But the Ancient forbad her.  
“Man had created weapons too powerful to be able to justify their use. We should not place another into their power-hungry hands.” She took no novices for a very long time Her reluctance to trust people with magic at this time was evident. The halls were empty. Kamar-taj was...asleep.

 


	15. fjorten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No song for this one. Whoops.

“I have to put it in the water!”  
“The Tesseract was the jewel of Odin's treasure room”  
“It’s power doctor, maybe unlimited power.”  
“The energy we have just collected could power my designs. All of my designs. This will change the war."  
"Doctor Zola, this will change the world."  
“I have seen the true power of the Tesseract, and when I wield it..."  
"Who showed you this power?”  
Death, destruction, chaos, war. This stone, this blue glowing-  
“Lorelei! Wake up. The keeper of the Space stone has been killed, the stone has been stolen.” The ancient one ran into her room in a frenzy. She knows of the infinity stones. There were 2 stones protected in the earth. One on Norway, and one here, in Kamar-taj. Above protecting the earth, above protecting ourselves, we were meant to protect these stones. One alone could grant one immeasurable power. But multiple could bring the end to life as we know it.  
“I know. I had a vision. A Nazi man has it.”  
“Oh, of course, one does. They already are creating that atom bomb. Why wouldn't they need an infinity stone? My my, their people and their wars. We are trying to protect the fabric of reality and they are not making it easy.”  
“Calm down my friend. Please. I have seen the tesseract returned to Asgard. It will make its way.” She turned around slowly to face me. I am barely awake, but I am sure of what I saw.  
“How?”  
“A man. An American, I believe. He is a good man. Good soul. He will assist with the tesseract’s return.”  
“How can we trust the Asgardians aren't gearing up to use their collected stones against us?” I sat up and gave her a look.   
“We have known the location of 4 of 6 stones for centuries. Most are safe, well protected and far away from the others Except of course for the two on earth within a few thousand miles of each other. I can assure you Asgard wants nothing but to keep those stones as far away from each other as possible.” The ancient one crossed her arms at me as if to challenge me.   
“What? It’s true.”  
“You haven’t been there in 100 years.”  
“I know that Tan-Queen Frigga wouldn’t allow the Allfather to descend into such madness. Now, will we watch and step in only when necessary?”  
“Of course, dear sister. Let’s keep this as a need to know, yes? We wouldn’t want the information of the location of an infinity stone being found out. Now, you’ll take 1st watch right?” Before I could protest, she slipped out of my room. I grappled around for something to wear and left my hair down. I went into the hall where the doors of the sanctums le to their respective cities. London was devastated, the sanctum is intact, but it’s nearly one of the few neighbourhoods not hit by the German bombings. The warning has been strengthened with the war growing as we did not want to lose it and leave it undefended. Although with what few masters are there, it wouldn’t really matter. The humans are starting to make formidable weapons.   
I just hope that Mr Rogers can pull this off.

  
\-------------------------------------------------------

February 2009,

  
It was cloudy again. Misty, foggy. Just, I couldn’t see clearly, or straight. Everything was grainy, like a crappy photograph. But it was bright. Bright and hot like the middle of the dry season. I looked around and there were white-capped mountains. But then a thunderous crash through me onto my stomach and I initially brought up my shields. I looked around from where the attack came from and all I saw was a burning vehicle. And gunfire. Stupid stupid gunfire. The ancient one can suck it. This doesn’t look like a war zone. I’m helping  
But I didn’t know who was the bad guys. Everything was moving around me, I couldn't take a step. But there was a vehicle that wasn’t blown up that was taking a lot of fire. I needed to check in-  
Woah. This is weird. I’m feeling sick. This jarring movement was giving me a headache as it kept moving me over dead bodies of soldiers. SO many sandy coloured soldiers but...There was one man in a suit. I saw him try to run and hide, but a missile had landed inches away. He tried to run but he was thrown backwards, losing mobility. I went closer and kneeled down. He was bleeding. His entire chest drenching his white shirt. I tried to reverse the bleeding, but my magic wasn’t working.   
“Hello, Hello, what is your name?” He looked disoriented as he continued to lose blood.   
“I am not dying. I-i’m not.”  
“Shh, sweet one. You aren’t going to die. What is your name?”  
“T-tony. Tony.”I continued to shush him, tried to soothe this man because there was no way he could survive this. There is too much metal in his chest.  
“Tony, you’ll be okay. You’ll survive this.” He scoffed and turned his face away. I went to go touch his cheek, the moment I did I was whisked away seeing him again, in giant metal suits. He’s saving people, he's fighting with...Mr. Rogers? And...And Thor. Accompanied by 4 other fighters fighting the chitauri. Whose is being led by…Loki.   
Loki.

Loki.

I felt ripped from the dream and back into my own bed. I’m soaked in sweat and am panting hard. But I don’t take too much time, not caring to back up the meagre things I’ve collected over the century I’ve been here. I make my way out to the stables with my hood up, where my precious måneskinn awaits. The mare seemed to be waiting for me. I climb onto her back with ease and take my sling ring.   
“I take it you’re leaving me?” The ancient one came from behind me, head looking down.  
“My dear friend, I do think I’ve completed what I needed here and plan to return to Asgard.”  
“You had another vision, didn’t you?”  
“Please my friend, I do not have time for this, My king-”  
“Look in the tree, for they have been here longer than you or me.” She walked up to måneskinn and rubbed her nose.   
“Take care, my friend. I hope to see you again.” The older women nodded sadly.  
“At least there are students again.”I looked and I handed her my sling ring, she refused.   
“You’ll need it. But here.” She used her own and started to make a doorway. Suddenly the golden sunshine started to seep into the temples morning fog.   
“Go.” She just said and I urged måneskinn forward into the portal. I walked through and breathed in the sweet air. It took me a moment to realize were The Ancient one placed me until.  
“Halt! State your name and your business.”  
“Princess Lorelei. Master of the Mystical Arts. Requesting an Audience with the Allfather at once.”

 

 


	16. femten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kinda jammed a lot to 'Falling Slowly" from the musical 'Once' and 'Ghost of you' by 5SOS. Don't really relate, but they're bops. But like, calm bops. Sways.

“AllFather, May I announce the return and arrival of Honorary Princess Lorelei.” The herald bellowed into the throne room. I was already walking down the long aisle in the most dignified way I knew how. Head high, shoulders back and hands at my sides. But that didn’t last for long.   
They were all there. Odin, Tante, Thor and… another. My dignity filled stride broke slightly as Thor ran up and scooped me into his arms. He squeezed me tightly as he shouted in my ear his excitement and joy.  
“Thor, Thor. My dear Thor, please put me down, I can hardly breathe.” He set me back down to my feet.  
“Lei-la. I cannot believe you're back. And still as small as a child I see.”I tried to ruffle my hair. The summer must have belonged here. His hair is an extraordinary light blond, his muscles somehow had swollen up even more in the last century. He even had a bit of a beard growing along with his height, placing him a whole 12 inches above my head.   
“I’m not a child, you're just a brute.” I tried to push his shoulder away, but he barely budged, making him burst out into laughter. A slender hand on his shoulder made him stop and step back.   
“Tante,” I whispered before she pulled me into a hug that rivalled Thor’s. She hadn’t changed at all. She's just as beautiful as before. So kind and gentle.  
“My dear child, oh look how you’ve grown. You are so strong. I can feel the magic in your veins, my dear. It is powerful. You can control it, can’t you?”She held my face in her hands and pushed hair out of my face.   
“Are you prepared?”I nearly jumped when I heard the allfather speak. Frigga let out a heavy sigh and stepped away, folding her hands.  
“Yes, Allfather. After training with the Masters of the Mystic arts for a little over a century. I have mastered the ability to-”  
“Clear the room. I wish to speak to Lorelei alone.” Everyone bowed and exited the room, except the minimal guards.  
“What battle experience do you have?” I stayed silent.”I do believe that Midgard had several worldwide wars during your stay there, did you assist?”  
“Well, no. But-”  
“So you're telling me you did nothing while millions perished.”  
“The masters are-”  
“Pacifists?”  
“No. They defend the Earth from mythical threats.”  
“Mystical?”  
“The Midgardians used weapons solely of their own creation to wage war, by their way we could not participate-”  
“They found the Tesseract. Is that not Mystical enough? A power source from a different realm. Do you and your Midgardian wizards not deem that a threat?”  
“I had had a vision, there was a man-”  
“You have the ability of clairvoyance now? That takes over millennia to master by even our sorcerers. Let alone the primitive humans of earth teaching you whatever they call magic.  
“They were able to find a way to control my otherwise chaotic magic. A place where our superior Asgardian sorcerers did not succeed.”  
“Watch your mouth, girl. I am still your king.”  
“King? Protector of the realms? Last I checked Midgard is a realm that should be protected as such.”  
“Do not question me, girl. I allowed you to live on that wretched planet in hopes you could methodize them. Remind them of our existence. Make them loyal again.”  
“They are their own people. They wouldn’t stand for a multi-realm monarchy. Unlike the rest of the realms, they have developed ways to defend themselves.”  
“Children can throw stones.”  
“ I was but a child when my magic nearly killed a man!”  
“Your magic is the unwanted byproduct of an abominable union. There was nothing we could have done to control your magic other than control you.”  
“A union? What union. What do you mean?”  
“Take Lorelei to her chambers. She is much too turbulent to continue this conversation.” With his orders, several guards approached me on my left, spears down. As a reflex, I opened a shield and threw a pulse of energy towards the group of 2.  
“I am perfectly calm, Allfather. What do you mean by ‘abominable union?” Three more guards approached from the right. I dropped the shield as the nearest on my right swung a sword towards my head and dropped to the ground and kicked my leg out, taking on guard’s legs out. I conjured up a simple chain weapon and threw it at the 2nd’s neck and pulled him to the ground. Using the momentum and pushing with my bent leg I jumped over the two on the ground, reaching for the 3rd with the shimmering chain around his neck and brought a knee to his shield, knocking him to the ground. The two that I blasted away recovered and approached me with their weapons. The taller one took a swing at me and I dodged, conjuring up a fan of energy and blocked him again and knocked his weapon out of his hand. The 2nd tried to strike me as well but I wrapped a chain around his sword and had it fly to the side, knocking its handle against the firsts head, knocking him out. The 2nd one raised his shield to block any more of my attacks, but I just sent a pulse of energy towards him, making him knock his forehead against his shield and falling unconscious.  
The noise of the short altercation must have reached the excess guards waiting outside the throne room came storming in. They took in the scene of me standing above their peers and fell into an attack position. I wiped my forehead and conjured up disks of energy at my hands and fell into a defensive position. I took down the first 5 easily. But soon, the overwhelming number of 30+ einherjar attacking me from all sides caused me to slip up and be stuck in the jar, disorienting me. My shields faltered and 2 more hits got in as well as a shock. I felt my concentration slip from me as my magic began to spark and lose its glow. I felt panic begin to set in, a sickly blue began to devour the glimmering gold. I started losing focus and I fell to my knees, letting the blue encase me in a hemisphere of energy. The einherjar all tried to strike it, encasing me to stand and let a shrill scream rip my throat as a blue firefly pulse engulfing the soldiers surrounding me.  
Quickly, the nauseating stench of scorched metal and scaled flesh. My breath was caught in my chest, it felt like the fire had climbed its way into my body, into my veins. I couldn’t breathe i was shaking so hard it felt like my eyes were bouncing inside of my head. I couldn’t, I can’t breathe, I’m heaving and wheezing but I cannot seem to pull air into my lungs. Pain emanates from everywhere I consider my body. My sight, I can’t see. I barely register that someone has lifted me from the ground. I still shaking so hard I thought I might be vibrating along the throne room floor. It is hard to tell if I ended up passing out or falling asleep before I left the room. But I do not remember the way to my room or lying in my bed.  
It was well into the next day when I finally woke up. Other than trivial pains in my abdomen and the pulsating flare in my cranial nerves, I was fine. As I sat up to properly examine myself. Parts of my original travel garb were scorched were I had been struck, my hair felt matted on my sweaty, slept in braids. There was blood dried around a slash I had received above my left deltoid. But what struck me as odd is that I was still dirty. Still dressed in my travel-worn, dusty clothes with my hair unkempt, and wounds still not checked or tending to. It was like no one had cared to make sure I was truly alright.  
“Odin had deemed you much too volatile for anyone to be near you.” I lifted my eyes to see a dark figure in the corner f the room. “He declared you a danger to the people and wanted you imprisoned. But mother she…” He took a step onto the warm morning light. He looked, well. He had grown as well, nearly as tall as Thor, though not as wide. His hair was ever so dark and pulled back away from his face. He was still slender, but the way he held himself, he had his own power, I could sense it.   
“Then why isn’t she here?” My comment had stung. But he showed with a minuscule twitch of his eye his discontentment.   
“I believe she still is having a go at Odin. I had never seen her in such a contained rage after seeing you lying there. It was the most frightening thing I will ever witness.” He offered up a shy smile as he kept his stature submissive. He did not want me to feel threatened.   
“So why are you here?” Another smile.  
“Even after your...display, Odin feels like I am the only one, other than Mother, who could subdue you if you lash out.” I locked my eyes onto his. Was that really true? Or did he just want me alone to berate me for how I left him? COnfused, scared, lost. But I didn’t see that now. He was neutral, soft almost. He took slow and deliberate steps towards me, keeping his eyes on me. They left mine for a moment to look at my arm, then back to me. I know what he was asking. I gave the slightest nod, reaching to unclasp my outer robe. He then kneeled and took my arm gentle into his hands. They were still cold, but the longer he touched me, muttering in old tongues around my arm, the more it warmed. He was much too focused on what he was doing. This seemed much more intimate than healing a simple wound. I wonder if we would have ever made it here, together again. So close that we breathe the same air. But now that he’s so close, I notice something.  
“You cut your hair?”This time his smile was genuine, his eyes crinkled ever so little at the edges as he looked back up at me.   
“It was impractical.”I felt myself start to smile as I looked him in the eye.  
“It was lovely.”   
“Well, you try sparring with hair flying into your face.” His hands had stilled, y wound and slowly trailed his fingers down to my hand.  
“You could’ve just braided it out of your way, or simply tie it.”   
“Ah yes. Thor would love the return of his dearest little sister.” We charged a light chuckle between us. His eyes left mine and dropped to our hands. His hands had curled themselves into mine, enclosing my smaller into his two. My gaze dropped when I felt his thumb brushing my skin. I pulled away.  
“Thank you for healing me. I fear my energy is still too low to have done it myself.” I took my hands and folded them into my lap. He was still kneeling, trying to catch my gaze, but I kept it focused highly on the dirt on my skirt.   
“I haven’t been able to bathe in a few days. If you could leave me to that, I would be thankful for your consideration.” He silently raised to his feet. He stood there, just staring.  
“At least you didn’t forget your courtesies. I do not know if mother would forgive that.” He started to make his way to the door before I stood.  
“Don’t speak of forgiveness as if you process it.” I spit.” Do not assume you can walk in here and do a little trick and things will be as they were. That all of your little courtesies will mend every wound of body, heart, and soul. You can take your damn courtesies and shove them up your ass, Odinson!” He whipped his head around to me and narrowed his eyes into mine. The tension in the air was thick. Not even a knife could cut it. He reached for the handles and turned away. After it cracked open he turned back and smirked before slipping out the door.   
I wanted to feel angry. To shout at him, hit him, curse him. But I didn’t. I did something for the first time in almost a century.  
I laughed.  
Full Bellied, tearful, barely catch my breath laughed.   
It felt good to laugh. 


	17. sekten

“Give it to me straight, Thor. What are my numbers.”  
“5 dead, 24 injured and 1 whose head is stuck in their helmet. But might I saw Lei-la, what a tremendous display of your power. I do not know what father meant, but you are certainly battle ready.” I didn’t care to hear the rest of his report. Five people. I had killed 5 people. 5 families will mourn their sons, husbands, brothers, because of me.  
“That is only going to lead to her feeling guilty, brother.” The three of us were sat in my rooms. I was still on lockdown, but since I am self-sufficient, I was allowed members of the royal family into my rooms. At the time, the sons of Odin for tea.  
“She should feel great pride in the growth of her abilities, brother. Her magic had not come as easily as yours did. Now I believe that she may even hold her own against you.” Thor clapped me on the shoulder. Again. In his joyful affection, I do not think he notices how it jostles my entire body forward with the sheer force of it. If I had not been stronger my shoulders would be broken. I can deal with the bruises for now.  
“Exaggeration is used for nothing but insults to one's intellect. I can feel the strength of her power. No need to proclaim such.”I turned to the darker prince who sits in a chair a way separate from us.   
“Don’t be so sure, Odinson. You may have tricks, but I have talent.” For the first time since they came to my rooms, he actually looks at me, and with a sense of confusion at that. Whilst he hadn’t seen me since I was battle and travel warning, I believe that he was more confused by the way I sat.  
On earth, use for my decorum was discarded as I soon realized that it didn’t matter if I sat like a lady, or used polite wording. People would still treat you however they chose. So one mannerism I quickly developed was sitting comfortably in any situation. With my legs crossed under me as I leaned back into the soft sofa.  
“Is that a challenge?” Instead of responding, I just cocked my eyebrow and spilt his tea on him as he went to take a sip. Thor let out a full-bellied laugh as his brother seethed at me. I tried to keep a straight face, but Thor’s laugh was contagious. In retaliation, Loki threw a cup of jelly and threw it at me, getting the sticky berry preservative in my hair. This only increased Thor’s laughter. But now I wasn’t laughing.  
“What? Redheaded maidens are considered lovelier than others. You should be thanking me.” I formed a chain and threw it at his chair leg, wrapping it around and yanking it out from under him. He fell out of the chair with little grace, causing me to join Thor as he was now holding his belly in his jubilance.   
Loki shot a dirty look at Thor and suddenly his laughter stopped as, I presumed, he cast a silencing spell on him. Then at the sounds of my giggles, he shot the same at me, but I quickly blocked it. Then suddenly we started throwing spells back at each other. He’d throw me to the wall, I'd make him sink into the floor. It was playful, innocuous even. We were playing like children with our favourite toys in the world with our favourite people in the world. Or well, person. Thor was hiding over an overturned sofa missed the mock battle.  
From the halls, it sounded like a horrendous fight was occurring inside. Crashing sounds and broken furniture could be heard through even the thick stone walls. Frigga was hurrying down the hallway as the Guards of the wing were frightened of what they heard, unbeknownst that the two princes were in there.  
Ready to open the door and neutralize the situation, a body is thrown out of the thick ordinate door and lands at the Queen’s feet.  
“Oh, hello mother.” Loki greats as he quickly shoots (rather weak) pulses of power at Lorelei who is still unable to be seen from the Queen’s vantage point.  
“Loki….”Frigga warns in a low voice. But she takes in the appearance of her son. While there are minor scorch marks on his person and his clothes are somewhat ripped, he looks happy. Happier than she’s seen in over a century.  
Following his not so graceful exit of the room, I dive over to where he is to tackle him, wraps a gleaming chain around his neck and readies a ball of power to lunch at him.  
“Surrender, Loki,” I order without noticing Frigga near her head.  
“And give you the satisfaction of getting me onto my back? Not likely, my dear.” I try to keep my face from smiling at the endearing moniker, but nearly fail as I look up to see Tante. My chain around his neck must have faded with lost concentration as he quickly unwound it and threw me backwards, pinning me now under his own knees with injured daggers at my throat.  
“Fine. I’ll yield, you royal bastard.” He stared at me a moment too long before standing up and offering me a hand. Sadly I then held onto to his hand a little too long.  
“Such language is unbecoming of a lady.”I pulled away and turn to Tante.  
“You know the AllFather will now not allow me to marry as I am a WMD.”  
“Tell me, child. What is a WMD?”  
“Mother?”Thor had finally made his way towards his mother’s voice. While his back was straight and his stride long, I could see in his eyes he was frightened and wanted his mommy.  
“Yes, Thor. You look positively spooked.” Loki and I exchanged a knowing look and tried (and failed ) to conceal our giggles.  
“I am not, mother. I am to be King of Asgard. I am not spooked like a horse.” With that I let a controlled flame brush a little too close to the back of his leather trousers, causing him to jump with a little squeak. This turned our giggles into laughter, and even Frigga let a smirk slip through.   
“Lorelei, enough of that. If you want to be treated like a woman grow, you must act like one.”I couldn’t tell if she was still being light-hearted with us, or if she was serious. I stopped nonetheless.  
“It is a great sightseeing you three together again.” She spoke again, this time with a more distinguishably happy tone. “Barely any children around in the palace.” She directed her attention to me. “Lorelei, since this is your room, and you claimed you are self-sufficient, then perhaps you wouldn't mind cleaning it up, as I supervise you. We can't have you turning into a menace can we?” I nodded and turned to the brothers beside me.  
“Thank you for the visit today. I enjoyed the exercise. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some housework to do.” Thor wished me a good day and left on his merry way whilst Loki stayed behind with a smirk on his face.  
“Exercise?”  
“Yes, because if it was fair and without distractions, I would have succeeded.” I crossed my arms to prove a point. He chuckled.  
“Well, perhaps that is an invitation for another round then.”He bowed and turned on his heel, making his way in the opposite direction of his brother. I turned to the Queen who was patiently waiting for me to fix the heavy door.   
I just raised my hands and the pieces melded back together as the door settled back into place. I even opened it for us. We walked into my rooms silently as I start waving things back into their original places. Food was returned to pates, furniture upright, scorch marks erased. The area where we had tea returned to how it was before the ruckus and I sat back how I was. Comfortably.  
“Tea?” I offered. She was mildly annoyed. But also so pleased I was able to do reverse destruction instead of just cause it.  
“No thank you, my dear. Have you thought about what I’ve told you?” Frigga had offered me a form of protection from Odin’s wrath. It was simple ad obeyed laws and traditions that we have followed for many millennia.   
“I would rather die being who I am then living as someone I’m not.”  
“You are so stubborn.” She shook her head.  
“I learned from the very best, Tante. I know what you fear the All-Father might do. But it’s for nought. Thor is of age and his coronation is nearly upon us. When he is then crowned, there will be a new order. Thor knows he cannot rule by himself and will surround himself with his own counsel. As much as he wants to be a great king, like his father. He does not want to be his father. I am bound to be a pick as well as anyone of his warrior friends. Then as a council member, I am able to do as I please with all my otherworldly quirks and I won’t be given death threats.” I was right. I know I am. Loki is likely to be his right hand as I am to still take over the magic garrison as it was planned before. Except I will not fight under Odin. I will fight under my brother in arms. Frigga doesn’t like the thought of any of us fighting, but she also knows that this is the best course of path. We would be safe and together. Like we’re meant to be.  
What she doesn’t know is that we aren’t. Not the three of us. As we’ve grown we are no longer connected at the roots. There is something different. Something wrong. Something I cannot place. And I have three years to figure it out before Asgard falls apart under the rule of Thor.


	18. sytten

The next several months are spent on probation. Never knowing which small mishap could land me inside the Asgardian prisons. Thor is nearly always away now. Fighting some beastly squirmish somewhere in the realms. Loki stays at a distance...sometimes. Other Times I find him too close to comfort and I take a step away for a few days. But eventually, he ends up where he normally does. An inch closer to my heart.  
The girl I was before wanted me to give in, to love him, heart and soul, to be allowed to be loved. To be paired with a man she has loved nearly all her life, despite everything that has transpired.   
But I know better now. That girl had a key to understanding the boy she loved. Just as he had a key to her. After decades apart, being around Loki without that little, meaningless stone is nearly a nightmare. Had he always been this closed off from everyone? So secretive, so withdrawn? Do I even know this man I see every day, I live with, I spar with? Or is the boy I left completely gone? Can I ever get him back?  
“Lei-la, the pleasure you could join us today.” As Thor’s coronation drew nearer, the roles that we three were promised were closer to being ours. That, despite my current punishment, I am still to command the garrison of sorcerers that Loki once commanded. To say I was worried was an understatement. When I had left, Loki was just taking the reins of captaining. From the way, he spoke of the group they were “the biggest source of embarrassment of the entire Asgardian military.” They were a ragtag group of illusionists and common pickpockets, who only did slite of hand to steal a wallet or two.  
“Good day, Thor. It is only by your father’s good graces I am here today. Nearly thought the staleness of last nights mead might have caused him to discipline me in some unrelated way.” I walked to the older brother and reached to give him a greeting kiss on the cheek.  
“Perhaps it is your impudent way of referring to the allfather that is lengthening your punishment.” Ah, Lady Sif. Now one of the Realms most renown warriors, thanks to Thor and his fondness for strong female warriors. I fought the urge to roll my eyes at her over-righteousness and patriotism for the suffocation monarchy.  
“My punishment for proving him wrong? Oh yes. No man likes being made a fool of by a woman. I thought you would understand that, of anyone here, Lady Sif.” That shut her up. I couldn’t look weak in front of my subordinates. Even if they were being passed from Loki to myself, I will never have another chance for a first impression.   
“My Lady Lorelei, may I present you the 2nd Asgardian Maginfantry, under the current direction of my brother Prince Loki, second son of Odin.  
Captain of Illusion, please step forward.”Thor commanded. I straightened my posture and flattened my robes. Thor said I should have commissioned a new set of armour. But any soldier can tell the difference between new armour, and armour that has seen a battle. I chose the robes I wore when I arrived, patched but proud.  
“Lorelei, this is Segvi, my second in command.” Loki reference to the soldier standing before us. Unlike the Einherjar who are all dressed uniformly and appear as one solid mass. The casters on the other hand greatly resemble pupils of Kamar taj. Various colours and various styles, probably to one's unique tastes. Some wore heavy armour, others dressed near casually in simple tunics and leggings. There was no order. There looked to be maybe 30 people who all decided to meet in the arena. The man who approached us wore a simple black assembly of soft leather that hung loosely on his thin body. I could not tell if he was old or young as his entire face was wrapped tightly in strips of soft black fabric.  
“Good day, Segvi. Care to fill me in on the status of our troops?” He nodded with his blank face and turned to Loki and started moving his hands.  
“Segvi cannot speak. He instead hands signs to communicate. You best learn to as well.” Loki interprets. “Our numbers stand at 37. Recruitment has been in the low hundreds. But many cannot even produce a simple flame or shield so we turned them away.” I looked shocked at this. In Kamar taj, we took in anyone and taught them, helped them through impediments and got them to where they wanted to be. I was them.  
“Did you check their energy potential levels?” He then did a movement of closing two fingers to his thumb.  
“No,” Loki started. Then Segvi continued. “But magic is not like wielding a sword. You need at least a hand to weird one. You need more to use magic. You need control.” I looked at Loki.  
“My princes, do you recall my magical outbursts as a child?” Both nodded.  
“Yes, of course.”  
“Do you recall any abundance of control in those situations?”  
“None whatsoever.” Loki was starting to smirk a little.  
“Bring back all of the recruits you sent away. I will personally measure their potential, regardless of their current talent. I want them gathered in the training grounds by midday. Is that clear?” The odd man nodded and returned to the masses.  
“Lorelei, he said the numbers were in the hundreds. How is it you expect to get through them all.”Loki walked beside me as we entered the castle.  
“Easy. That was a lie. You are going to help me.”  
“Help you? These are plebians and criminals.”  
“And the citizens of the kingdom you are to help rule. Many of which are the so-called plebians you so hate. They outnumber us hundreds to one. Be careful how you act towards them.” I picked up my pace and went to walk beside Thor and join him in whatever joyous conversation he was having with one of the warriors to his left.   
Dinner was a mess. The All-Father didn’t like my directions to the captain despite the position not even being officially mine. Loki defended me and said he sanctioned the recruitment. Though they are an elite force, they need the numbers. Frigga also reminded him of if we do not cultivate their talents, someone else may and will amass an army of our undesirables.  
He huffed and puffed through the courses and the room was tense. At least to everyone else besides Thor. He boasted about my competency and my display of power. He just raved about my introduction to the troops. By the time dinner was over, we had heard enough about my pride in my old robes or my strength in my shoulders.   
“Allfather, may I be excused for the night? I have a long day ahead of me and I’d like to get some rest before it.” He gruffly waves me off and I bow to the table before making my quick leave. I knew I wasn’t going to sleep. I haven’t slept truly since I came back. At first, I was having night terrors. Suddenly jolting out of bed in fear and no relocation of what I had dreamt. As a conditioned response, I found myself making my way through the passageway that leads to Loki’s rooms. As a child I’d sometimes climb into his bed, others I just needed to be near him, so I sometimes just got comfy on the closest surface and fell back to sleep. For a while, I would only ever make it to a sofa or under a table. But once my needy subconscious had actually made it to his bedside, and I found it empty.   
From there on I would make an effort to make it to his bed as it was more comfortable than the floor, and he wasn’t in it. Nor was he there when I woke up. But early one morning after a gruelling spar against him, I had slept there longer than I normally do, which is usually just a few hours before dawn. I had woken up to him finally coming back into his room and climbing into bed, completely ignoring my presence.   
That happened twice more before was truly interested. I would stay up and speak directly into his room after he’d ‘retire’. I tried to keep up with him as he left his chambers. He used the tunnels between the walls. But in order to keep up my tail, I would often lose him in the darkness and twists and turns. I usually gave up and turned back so I could get back before he did. Only two nights ago was I able to keep up with him? But fates be against me and I came to a literal wall. It was stone through and through and I couldn’t figure out the warding spell that kept me from seeing what was through it.  
I should sleep. I really should sleep in preparation for tomorrow. But my curiosity just won't stop until it kills me it seems. Loki hasn’t spoken of how he feels with finding me in his bed again. He even shows no evidence of me being there. Even after the moment, we shared when I returned, he showed no advances, no increase in innuendo. He stays perfectly detached, polite and stoic. So I try to make it down the tunnels before him tonight, planning on hiding on one of the extra turns when he comes through to finally see how he goes through.  
Finally, he comes and is quick and discreet, opens the walla d quickly slips through. I barely make it over in time to see a crack of what's on the otherwise plain wall and I see...night? But not Asgardian night. No, that even has a muted gold colouring and is never truly dark. But that, where ever that was it was cold and dark and I couldn’t see far in the split second I had before the door closed.   
I wait for him to return this time. Not caring if he was suspicious I wasn’t in his bed when he returned. It is such a bad idea. I should get some sleep for the reevaluations. But I’m just too curious. I truly hope I am not a cat.  
I have no clue what time it is when he returns. It is constantly dark and shadowless in the tunnels. But when he does I notice he’s flushed, even in the darkness. I do not understand why until he taps the toe of his boots to the other’s heel and something falls off. I wait for him to turn the corner before I emerge from my hiding place, kneeling to touch what he hit off. It was cold, wet. I recognise it from a trip to the mountains I took with the ancient ones. It was melting but I knew what it was.   
Snow.   
This wasn’t a door to just somewhere.   
It was a door to Jotunheim.

 


	19. atten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really happy at how this chapter turned out. It's a lot of dialogue, but I feel that's what I'm best at. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

“My dear, did you sleep at all last night?” After returning to Loki’s rooms after him, I decided it was best for me to go directly to my own rooms and slept there, missing breakfast and almost running late for my own ordered evaluations.  
Why in the nine was he in Jotunheim? Especially what was it he wanted in Jotunheim? The frost giants hold no love for Asgardians and are more likely to kill on sight. That is if he comes across one of those first. There are a plethora of wintery beasts that live in that realm, most of which are deadly predators in their own right. That land is brutal and savage. So how did a single Aesir manage to come and go in one piece nearly every day?  
“Sleep usually evades me, like most nights. But I was able to sleep soundly.”  
“You did not come to me last night” I had barely remembered he was walking in stride with his mother and I. I froze. That was the first time he has ever mentioned my nightly visits. Even as children he never voice them. It was expected. Is it because of last night? Is it because I finally found out where he goes at night?  
“Yes. Perhaps after weeks of exhaustion, my body finally caved into a semi-normal sleep regimen.”  
“Your start time may be regulated. But I think your wake up still needs a little work. Father was furious.”  
“The Allfather is almost always furious. He needs to be careful. My body eventually caves after weeks of overexertion, and I am a simple Aesir. He is the Allfather. He hasn’t had an Odinsleep since before I left. All of this anger will put him in a bad place.”  
“I believe he is waiting until Thor’s coronation so he can rest easy this time.” At the mention of Thor’s crowning, I felt Loki pull away from our conversation. He was no longer apart. He picked up his stride and continued a few strides in front of us.  
He remained detached from some of the people he tolerated until we made it into the arena. There was a hefty amount of people in lines. All different ages and backgrounds. I was suddenly nervous. This was my first address to the people since my departure. Frigga synced my apprehension and touched my shoulder.  
“You will be alright, child. Speak from your heart and the truth will be heard.”She pressed a kiss to my temple and turned to go back towards the castle, leaving me with the brooding prince. He was already standing on a small podium with Segvi at his side, casting a harsh glare among the people here. When I walked up to his side, I elbowed him. His glare sharpened but quickly softened when he saw me. His exterior was still hard. But not as harsh as before. I took a breath and stepped forward.  
“Magic isn’t like wielding a sword. Or using a bow or a spear. It’s far more inclusive. During my time away, I studied at a school who let anyone through their doors. Old, young, poor, rich. But they all had something in common. Loss.” My eyes flicked over to the dark prince beside me.  
“Most didn’t even want magic. They wanted help. They wanted a chance. Doctors have turned them away, shamans, medicine men. They just want a chance to return to what their lives were before, or to make it better. And we taught them. We taught them to harness. To protect themselves, to heal themselves, in a way. These were Midgardians. Humans. A race who is considered so weak in our eyes is truly not to be underestimated. And neither shall you.” I bowed my head and took a step back, Letting Loki step up and direct them. “Now please turn your attention to your prince and heed his instructions.”  
“Thank you for that lovely speech, Princess. Your hope in the people is astonishing.” I took to my right and left the podium with Segvi while Loki gave instruction about order and the days' process. I went inside of a small sectioned off place and took a seat in a chair. There was a bowl of fruit and some wine and mead. But I just waved over a glass of wine and sipped it. It was a few minutes before the first person came in. They were middle-aged, a man. He looked nervous and hungry.  
“Hello, my name is Lorelei. What are you called?” The man was shaking now and turned to me and bowed his head.  
“I am Skuli, son of Arns. Thank you for seeing me again. I’ve never been very good at anything but doing little tricks to amuse my children. I hope now it can feed them.” I beckoned him closer to me and I turned my palms over.  
“Skuli, if you please.” He nodded, placing his hand, work roughen hands into mine. I felt for his magic, a little reservoir inside of his soul and measured its debt. Why he was turned away, I have no clue. This man had great strength and was excellent with illusions. He usually works with children, him and his wife watching many, as well as their own, while their parents go off to work. I give his hand a squeeze and pull away.  
“Why you were turned away before, is beyond me, Skuli. Welcome to the Maginfantry of Asgard. Please report to training in three days. Also,” I paused and brought up a piece of paper and signed it. “Give this to one of the Einherjar. You will be sent home with a months worth of food. It should keep your family fed until you are first paid.” Skuli’s eyes began to water, but his pride stopped him.  
“Thank you, general. I am honoured to defend my kingdom.” I handed him the paper and he went on his way, exponentially happier than when he first came in.  
“General, huh?” I nearly jumped out of my skin. I turned to see Loki in the corner.  
“That is to be my title.” An attendant from outside peaked in and see if I was ready to look over another. I nodded and another woman came in.  
“Only if I truly want to relinquish it.” I ignored him and asked the woman her name. She was shaking, most likely due to Loki’s presence. I beckoned her close and took her hands.  
“You still outrank me. You can still direct me. But you will not direct my men.” I bit softly. The woman looked up in fear. “And women,” I said softly. “Congratulations, Tofa. Please be ready to report to training in 3 days.” The young girl grinned and scurried out the door.  
“I barely outrank you. All it takes is that Oaf saying he’d prefer you as his second to push me away.” He reached over and takes a fruit.  
“Your brother loves you and will most definitely choose you. Your father wouldn’t let him choose me. Despite Thor being king, Odin will forever hold his ear until the day he dies. That or Sif will forbad it.”  
“You think they will marry?” That piqued his attention.  
“Thor may have his fun with any maiden he chose, but he needs to marry someone like him, strong, loyal and stubborn. Someone to keep him on his toes, as Tante does Odin. With that being said, can you think of none one better than Lady Sif herself?” He sat silently with that as another came in. Sadly, this one was just clever with their bare hands. 100 more came and went, 14 of which had any potential.  
“Who would you suggest I marry?” This time I did jump. I had thought he’d left, gone back to his own tent.  
“Lady Lorelei, would you like another?”The attendant poked their head in. I held up a hand.  
“Perhaps a break for tea?” The attendant nodded.  
“We have about 50 left, My Lady. Give or take. Few left midway through.” I thanked him an turned my attention back to Loki.  
“Beg your pardon?” I turned my whole body towards him.  
“Well, Lady Matchmaker, you seem to have chosen the ideal bride for Asgard's future king. Who could you ever pose would be a good match for me?” He locked eyes with me, challenging me. We locked eyes for only a moment one before I narrowed mine.  
“Lady Sigyn.” His smirk fell and his eyes softened. “What, did the infatuation wear off? You were engaged when I left.” He stayed silent, dropping his gaze to the floor.  
“So who grew bored first? It was her, wasn’t it? You were far too committed to doing so. I mean, you destroyed the heart and soul of someone who had put them in your hands like it was a little game. So it must have meant more to her than it did you?”  
“Is this why you’ve been resentful towards me?” He whispered. Exasperated, I stood.  
“It is the whole reason I left. The boy I loved had said he loved me back before leaving me the next day to dance with a girl he’s never spoken to in his life. The boy I loved had insulted and ridiculed me in the people I considered my family. The boy I loved didn’t even want to say goodbye. He was there by obligation.” He lowered his gaze again.  
“You copulated with her. A girl you barely knew, a girl you called lowly, you took to our tree and soiled it with your lust. Hours after you told me ‘What is supposed to be stopped existing the moment I laid eyes on you’ you _fucked_ another girl.” He finished at the obscenity. But I didn’t care. I was too angry.  
“I _resented_ how dependent I was. I _resented_ how I had convinced myself that you were my world. I _resented_ how you didn’t care that you shattered it. I _resented_ that Thor was my shoulder to cry on. I _resented_ how alone I was. But I hate -” I stopped. My eyes were burning with tears that sat at the brim. I swallowed them back.  
“I hated how I blamed myself. I thought I had done something to drive you away. That I was somehow unworthy of your love and affection. I tried convincing myself that it was all you. It was all your fault. I had spent decades trying to figure it out. But I just couldn’t place any blame on the boy I loved. Now seeing you again. I had thought, this is it. After practising it in my head I can say it. I can say ‘I hate you, Loki Odinson.’ But I falter because it's not true.” His eyes perked back up.  
“What?”  
“I could never hate you Loki. I love you far too much to be able to hate you.”Before I could speak he dashed I front of me, grabbing my face.  
“Say it again.”His words were so soft. If his forehead wasn’t against mine, I wouldn’t have heard them.  
“I love you far too much to be able to hate you, Loki.” He let out a heavy breath and it fanned across my face. I brought my hands' on top of his and laced our fingers.  
“Kjære…” I closed my eyes and sighed. I took his hands from the side of my face and took a step back.  
“I can never trust you again.” He let go of my hands, his face saddened. “You will always have my love. But you will never have my trust.” I reached to touch his cheek, brushing his cheekbone with my finger, before passing him to the door.  
“Attendant, send in the next person please.” When I turned around, he was gone.


End file.
